Monday, October 17, 2011

First Impressions

So, apparently it takes me 72 hours to recover from a 24 hour event. I had fun doing the Extra Life event, and look forward to next year! Sorry for not keeping up. Now, back to the awesome!

So, I have some single friends and family, and after speaking to them, it's apparent that women are misleading guys on first date small talk to try to get a second date out of it (or more). Seeing as how I haven't had a first date in about 15+ years, I decided to enlighten my SooperFans. 1Men are like a Rorschach Test, we say the first thing that pops into our awesome heads.

Boobs. I see boobs.

Here's some examples:

Man's Question: "So what do you do for a living?"

Women's Answer: "I'm in the Entertainment industry."

This vaguely worded answer is one of the worst answers ever. If he asked you what industry you were in, this would be an acceptable answer. If you work at a laundromat, say you work at a laundromat, you are most definitely NOT in the "Textile industry".

Back to the question. Here's what the woman ACTUALLY MEANT:

What she should have said: "I'm a highly skilled technical producer for the local television station, and I have worked on various portions of network programs as well."

Here's what the guy's FIRST THOUGHT was:

I see boobs.

Next question: 

Man: "What do you like to do for fun?"

Woman: "I love movies."

Again. Do you like to watch movies? Do you love all kinds of movies? 

Heres what the woman ACTUALLY MEANT:

"I love foreign romance movies. I ONLY WATCH foreign romance movies. I think subtitles are great, and I have no problem with the culture barriers that exist because I am transcendant of everything that exists to hold me back. We are all one."

Here's what the guy's FIRST THOUGHT was:

I see b....movies.

Finally......guys, when women say "My dream guy has to have a good sense of humor", I know for a FACT that this is the "sense of humor" they are basing that on.

Yes, Amanda, I get it. Yeah. He's funny. No, I'm never going to look like him. Especially in a pair of jeans. I have no ass (thanks Dad!). I'm still working on the sense of humor thing, though. ;)

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