Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Everyday I'm Stumblin....

After Rob at ROFLCafe made this banner for me yesterday, the gauntlet was thrown down. I am going to StumbleUpon until I find the first 5 awesomest websites!

#5 - Burning ants is for sissies.

In this clip, a scientist shows the host how sunlight, concentrated by a huge mirror into a single point, can burn the F out of anything......including rocks. Yeah, I know you say "Rocks don't melt! LOL!", and this guy says "Science, bitches."

Here is how I think this project got started:

Scientist: "...and that's why I need money for this project." *passes joint*

Banker: "But what good will mankind benefit from such a project?" *PPPPUUUUUFFFFFF*

Scientist: "It will like, show people that the most destructive force in the entire universe is right above our heads every day, and that if someone wanted to mess with us, they would just have to get a really big mirror. Plus I get to melt a lot of cool shit."

Banker: "Sold! Start tomorrow."

#4 - Artists are very needy.

I stumbled across this in a different webpage, but it wouldn't let me embed video, so I had to find it on YouTube.

Sure, you wish you could do something like this to that dumbass in the movies that likes the soft glow of his trendy iphone so much he has to check it every 5 minutes to see if he's important to someone, but this is different.

First, I have never seen a string quintet (?) playing out in the open in a mall setting....I'm still trying to find the violin case into which people are supposed to throw thier money. 

Second, the guy these people harass is OBVIOUSLY INNOCENT! Look at him, he was obviously dragged there by his overbearing girlfriend/wife, and with more interest in baseball than Beethoven, he decided to ring his buddy to talk about the latest scores. Poor guy.

#3 - My First Strategy Guide

Is your child coming home from school distraught because the Rock, Paper Scissors champ of Eastside Elementary is giving him/her a hard time? 



You're welcome little geeks.

#2 - I didn't know my dad was a website designer.

Next, I stumbled on the Amazing Fact Generator from I tried it out for about 7-1/2 hours, and have now devoted my life to uncovering the conspiracy of how they retrieved every bit of useless trivial information from my father's brain. I think it had a lot of black-suited men and alien technology.

#1 - "I Shot that Mutha@#$ka up........with knowledge!"

And for my last stumble of www.wednesdays, I found this list of the top 10 intellectual rappers. I paused, because this intrigued me. I always thought that a firm grasp of the english language and ability to weave tales of lore regarding drugs, hookers, and violence, was already enough to put being a rapper in the top tier of intellectual pursuits. Alas, I was mistaken. I only knew 2 of the 10, and apparently, being intellectual does not lend itself to popularity in the rap game. However, I do like #1's "handle" - Aesop Rock. Because his name references an already historic rapper.

Yes, that's Aesop Rock. The white guy with the long hair. No...really.

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