Monday, October 10, 2011

I Wear My Sunglasses at Night...

I've recently misplaced my sunglasses, which creates a small amount of panic for me. Not because they are expensive. They're like 10 bucks from Target. It creates panic because now my wife will catch my wandering eyes when we go out. 

Ladies, if any of your men tell you they don't, they are damn liars. Don't let them fool you. They're just masters of misdirection. While they're staring at the college student in the tube top and the shorts that say PINK across her ass, they point something out to you that will hold your interest long enough for them to get thier ocular image tank topped off.

Get over it, ladies. This is how we are wired. Even your most vaulted, iconic male figure cannot resist his encoding.

Dat Ass.

And remember ladies, it's not because we don't think you're attractive, because we do. It's just because that we can't fight our nature. I mean, c'mon. Beckham is married to THIS for crying out loud, and he's still sneaking peeks of other ladies...

MANday Declaration Number One: If Thou Looks Astray, Tell Thine Mate "Get Over It."

Really ladies. Just let it go. We're not going to stop looking.....we'll just create more clever diversions to make it seem like we're not looking. 

Happy MANday!



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