Thursday, October 27, 2011

The 3 Things....I Have to Remember About My "Tween" Child.

My daughter is getting older, and is beginning to put her toes in the pool of feminine hygiene....*shiver*. As she gets older, the way I interact with her is evolving....or is it?

The 3 things I have to remember about my child getting older...

1. HORMONES. Lots of them. Uncontrollable fits of rage turned to sobbing apologizing sessions. Children's bodies are changing, and that, inevitably makes their brain's chemistry change too. It's like me looking at a Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger. First I cry because of the sheer cheesy awesomeness that it contains, then I get angry that my diet doesn't have anything this great, then I get reflective, and remember all the good times, me and BUC had that one band camp.

Anyways, for you parents that have already gone through this, I'm sorry about everything I've ever said about you being crazy behind your backs. Amen.

2. She is still the same person. Once I get past the hormones and the attitudes, I realize that she's still the sweet little girl we raised. Here's an example: (my wife will probably kill me for divulging this information, but it proves my point). We have a vacation "bucket", where we throw our change when we get home. Recently, Amanda has had the opportunity to take an extended learning class in another state, and wants to bring the family along. To boost the economy of our vacation bucket, we invited the children to add any money they wanted to donate to the family. Remember, this is THIER money that they did odd jobs for.

This is the most awesome Odd Job EVER.

Anyways, my daughter put in a sizable sum. A few days later, she was acting strangely, offering information about her friend who gave her money to buy books at the school book fair. My wife and I went all Batman detective style and found some money to be missing out of the bucket. When we confronted her, she broke down, admitted to taking the money, and accepted that she was going to be punished. I sat back, satisfied at the justice that was about to be doled out....and then it hit me. I asked what she bought with the money. She went to her room, came back out with 4 books. She had bought books for her siblings to keep them occupied in the car for the trip. There was no doubt about it, either, these books were for her siblings.

Mr. Sieckman! I'm shocked! Didn't we just remove your head from your ass?!?

She was lightly punished for not telling the truth.......but yeah, I felt like a jackass.

3. Peer Pressure. Kids that like school like it because they hang out with their friends. These friends may or may not have the same restrictions imposed on them by their das fuhrers. Because they are not cut from the same cloth, kids want to emulate the people that they are friends with, lending them to push the attitude threshold when confronted. For example (this didn't happen, btw). 

Daughter: "I'm wearing makeup to school"

SooperDad: " you're not."

Daughter: "Whhhhyyyyyy?? Everyone is doing it!"

SooperDad: "That's because they're sluts, honey. And the boys that do that don't know you exist anyways."

Above: The opposite of awesome parenting.

So again, parents of teenagers past and present, I salute you. I think the only way you guys got through it is because drugs and alcohol were so much cheaper back then.....

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