First Impressions

So, apparently it takes me 72 hours to recover from a 24 hour event. I had fun doing the Extra Life event, and look forward to next year! Sorry for not keeping up. Now, back to the awesome!

So, I have some single friends and family, and after speaking to them, it's apparent that women are misleading guys on first date small talk to try to get a second date out of it (or more). Seeing as how I haven't had a first date in about 15+ years, I decided to enlighten my SooperFans. 1Men are like a Rorschach Test, we say the first thing that pops into our awesome heads.

Boobs. I see boobs.

Here's some examples:

Man's Question: "So what do you do for a living?"

Women's Answer: "I'm in the Entertainment industry."

This vaguely worded answer is one of the worst answers ever. If he asked you what industry you were in, this would be an acceptable answer. If you work at a laundromat, say you work at a laundromat, you are most definitely NOT in the "Textile industry".

Back to the question. Here's what the woman ACTUALLY MEANT:

What she should have said: "I'm a highly skilled technical producer for the local television station, and I have worked on various portions of network programs as well."

Here's what the guy's FIRST THOUGHT was:

I see boobs.

Next question: 

Man: "What do you like to do for fun?"

Woman: "I love movies."

Again. Do you like to watch movies? Do you love all kinds of movies? 

Heres what the woman ACTUALLY MEANT:

"I love foreign romance movies. I ONLY WATCH foreign romance movies. I think subtitles are great, and I have no problem with the culture barriers that exist because I am transcendant of everything that exists to hold me back. We are all one."

Here's what the guy's FIRST THOUGHT was:

I see b....movies.

Finally......guys, when women say "My dream guy has to have a good sense of humor", I know for a FACT that this is the "sense of humor" they are basing that on.

Yes, Amanda, I get it. Yeah. He's funny. No, I'm never going to look like him. Especially in a pair of jeans. I have no ass (thanks Dad!). I'm still working on the sense of humor thing, though. ;)

The Great Gender Divide

Since the beginning of time, men have been hunters, we killed food to sustain life. We go to work to make the money to pay the bills to sustain life. 

So what happens when you take a hunter out of the wilds? I think I speak for all males when I say "Thank you ladies, but getting mad over not doing what you thought I was going to do is dumb."

I have been having some issues with this lately....especially with the "fairer" *chucklesnort* sex. Let's see if I can explain this.....

When women say: "You need a red shirt for my family reunion. My great-grandparents are going to be there, and they really want to meet you!"

What they expect:

What they get:

I don't see the problem here.

When women say: "Let's go out for a drink tonight. It's been a long week, and I miss you."

What they expect:

What they get:

Still unaware of a problem....

When women say: "You're making fish tonight? Awwww, you're so sweet!"

What they expect:

What they get:

Maybe she's mad because there's no tartar sauce on that plate?

When women say: "Can you put on some music? Something good.."

What they expect:

What they get:

again.....I see no problem.

When women say: "Don't get me anything for my birthday, really!"

What they expect:

What they get:

So we remember stuff 3 hours before deadline. I call this being awesome under pressure.

Ugh. Say what you want, ladies, because if you leave it up to us, you get what you get. Remember, we're the gender that used to chase down and kill WILD F'ING ANIMALS. Don't expect us to think the same way you do.