FFS Friday!!

I just overheard this on the radio here locally, and had to check it out for myself.

Some of you may remember when I volunteered in my 4th grader's class, and saw a child wearing a shirt with this:

A thinly veiled threat.

For those of you that are unaware, this is Arizona State University's new "marketing" campaign. The "hand gesture" is supposed to be a pitchfork, which is the Sun Devil's weapon of choice. Shouts of "Fork 'Em" have been heard at Sun Devil Stadium for years.......but this is different. Again, for those unaware, let me show you what this hand gesture means on the streets, yo (I'm so hood):

The shocker, also known colloquially as "two in the pink, one in the stink"^[1][2] is a hand gesture with a sexual connotation.^[3] The ring finger and thumbare curled or bent down while the other fingers are extended. The index and middle fingers are kept together (touching) and the back of the hand faces outwards (away from the gesturer). The gesture refers to the act of inserting the index and middle fingers into a vagina and the little finger into the receiver's anus, hence the "shock".

So, imagine my surprise to see this in a 4th grade classroom. NOW, I hear that some schools have taken to twitter to further support their sports programs. How, you ask? Let me introduce you to Sundevilboobs.

It's pretty tame, actually. No nudity (that I saw), just a bunch of women in ASU gear, throwing up the "pitchfork". Way to solidify yourselves as an institute of higher education, ASU. On the other hand, the school did slip some spots in the coveted Playboy Top Party School poll last year, so maybe this is an attempt to redeem themselves.

Oh, by the way, they're not the only school with this Twitter campaign. The Iowa Hawkeyes, University of Illinois, Louisville, University of West Virginia, UNLV, and Kansas State also have similar pages.

So.....show your support ladies! Your dads are all very proud of what you've accomplished by supporting your school!


 

SooperRant Sunday

**WARNING - before reading this, make sure no kids are around. There is some naughty stuff.**

Went to the Amazing Arizona Comic Con this weekend. It was my first comic con and was awesome. Seeing all the cosplay and talking with artists that are passionate about their craft and love what they do is amazing. This is not about those people.

About 80% of the artists were true "comic" artists. They took revered comic idols and redrew them in thier styles, for instance, I bought this awesome print of Carnage, a Spider-Villain:

Check out more of Andy Carreon's work here.

And another awesome print of Venom, another Spiderbaddie. Can't find the print art online, but artist's website is here.

Here's the issue. For every artist with a cup full of talent, there were several that apparently thought the CON in ComicCON stood for CONtest to draw the best naked ladies.

Goldilocks.

Pikachu

Rogue. 

The last one really disappoints me. Rogue is a part of the X-Men, an ELITE GROUP OF MUTANTS. To objectify her just diminishes her awesomeness.

But, hey, guess what?

I am now a comic artist!

Signed prints of the above image will be available for $10 each.

You guys have so much talent, you could make your own heroes, expand on ancillary characters, or re-boot old icons. Why do you have to focus on Wonder Woman's breasts?

Here is truth in advertising:

Welcome to Dark Silver Studio, here you will find alluring women in dark places. Each beauty will capture your attention as she draws you to her side.

The best part?

Here's the artist:

Natali Sanders

In order to help out the awesome artists that decided that the breasts they DID draw were kept away from my kids' visions at the comiccon, I urge you to check out the following pages. Some of them DO draw the voluptous figures, but I didn't see any DISPLAYED for my kids to browse, so they get a thumbs up for that.

Big Chris

Jamie Tyndall

And my new favorite artist. This guy is crazy talented.

Jon Hughes

All in all, it was a geek nirvana. Looking forward to The Phoenix Comicon in March!

First Impressions

So, apparently it takes me 72 hours to recover from a 24 hour event. I had fun doing the Extra Life event, and look forward to next year! Sorry for not keeping up. Now, back to the awesome!

So, I have some single friends and family, and after speaking to them, it's apparent that women are misleading guys on first date small talk to try to get a second date out of it (or more). Seeing as how I haven't had a first date in about 15+ years, I decided to enlighten my SooperFans. 1Men are like a Rorschach Test, we say the first thing that pops into our awesome heads.

Boobs. I see boobs.

Here's some examples:

Man's Question: "So what do you do for a living?"

Women's Answer: "I'm in the Entertainment industry."

This vaguely worded answer is one of the worst answers ever. If he asked you what industry you were in, this would be an acceptable answer. If you work at a laundromat, say you work at a laundromat, you are most definitely NOT in the "Textile industry".

Back to the question. Here's what the woman ACTUALLY MEANT:

What she should have said: "I'm a highly skilled technical producer for the local television station, and I have worked on various portions of network programs as well."

Here's what the guy's FIRST THOUGHT was:

I see boobs.

Next question: 

Man: "What do you like to do for fun?"

Woman: "I love movies."

Again. Do you like to watch movies? Do you love all kinds of movies? 

Heres what the woman ACTUALLY MEANT:

"I love foreign romance movies. I ONLY WATCH foreign romance movies. I think subtitles are great, and I have no problem with the culture barriers that exist because I am transcendant of everything that exists to hold me back. We are all one."

Here's what the guy's FIRST THOUGHT was:

I see b....movies.

Finally......guys, when women say "My dream guy has to have a good sense of humor", I know for a FACT that this is the "sense of humor" they are basing that on.

Yes, Amanda, I get it. Yeah. He's funny. No, I'm never going to look like him. Especially in a pair of jeans. I have no ass (thanks Dad!). I'm still working on the sense of humor thing, though. ;)