Monday, November 28, 2011


Sorry for my sporadic posting, but I decided to get back on the ball for MANday. 

Since Movember is almost over, I thought I would make a list of the best MANstaches to date.

#5 - Sturken der Stachen

What better place to start the list than a MANstache so iconic, that it takes up most of the character's face? 

I solely thank Mr. Chef for opening my generation to Swedish culture, for if that had not happened, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo series would have remained an underappreciated Swedish political opinion piece. Plus, trying to understand him was near impossible. Between him and Ozzy, I stayed off drugs so that people could understand me.

#4 - Smooth like a Colt 45

Give it up for the only black man in the original Star Wars Trilogy.

Even Kirk had a black woman on the crew.....

Anyways, this MANstache is the only reason that white people recognize an obscure brand of malt liquor, and for that, sir, you are a god amongst men.

#3 - The Asterisk

It's an asterisk because technically, it's a beard, but you tell him that.

Plus, he did a geek commercial. How awesome is that?

#2 - Smokey's Stache

Not too long ago, he shaved his MANstache, but hey, he got to look at Demi naked.....

I'll refrain from the obvious Loni Anderson jokes. (Don't ask. Just don't)

#1 - King MANstache

The only reason every kid in the 80's wanted to wear Hawaiian print shirts and drive Ferraris.

Yes, the inspiration behind my most embarrasing photo as well....

And then there are the ones that didn't quite make the cut, but need your support for thier Movember campaigns. The month is almost over, head on over to thier pages and show them some love, support Men's health!

Chris T. - looking ever so much like Uncle Rico. He's still reliving his glory days too. It's kinda sad.

My cousin, Justin P. - This guy can rock the Ron Burgandy 'stache. I've seen it.

Help out these guys reach their goal for Movember. And before you say anything, yes, ladies, you can see where all the good looks went in my family.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Newsday Tuesday!


Apparently, my technology post yesterday peeved some technologically challenged females. To make it up, I found a story showing just how insane men are. The headline says it all.

Police: Man threatened to blow up store over sold out Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 video game

As some of you might know, I am an avid CoD player. I can safely say that I have never threatened anyone with mortal danger. 

An aside: the reason I wasn't allowed to play right after my heart attack is becauase my wife walked out on me one night while I was in the process of teaching a 12 year old kid some online manners. There was a lot of 4 letter words and references to Justin Bieber, but she thought it spiked my blood presaasure.

But back to the story, 

Witnesses told police Sar became angry and irate with the customer service desk shortly after midnight on Tuesday after they told him the video game he allegedly pre-ordered earlier in the day was no longer in stock.

This is where I say, "Good for that guy!". Why? I worked in an industry where if a customer made a RESERVATION, you had damn well better have what you promised, or there was going to be a fair amount of punishment doled out. You know, a reservation....

I understand that the company takes "pre-orders" as a way to estimate demand, but REALLY?? If your inventory level drops below your pre-order quantity (read: already paid for), then something is wrong.

Now, I'm not saying this guy was right to threathen the store employees by saying he was going to follow them home and use hand grenades and such.....This is probably the guy you don't want taking home a copy of MW3.

What really caught my eye was near the bottom of the article, however....

Over the weekend in France, men used tear gas to rob a delivery truck carrying 6,000 copies of the game. That shipment was worth more than $500,000.

WOW. Those guys are hardcore. But they're rookies, everyone knows that you don't steal in CoD, thats GTA!

Monday, November 21, 2011

MANic MANday!

After having some technical difficulties in the SooperHowseHold, I realized that, while having a lot of talents, technological prowess isn't in the ladies' skillsets.

Sure, some ladies are above average for their gender when it comes to computers and other electronic gadgets, but for the most part........

Let's just say the term "IT Guy" is in our lexicon for a reason...

My 2 year old son can delete, reinstall, and organize my apps on my Android. My 10 year old daughter gives up if the computer is password locked. Even though she knows the password.

Look, ladies, I know what you're thinking..."I got to your stupid ass blog well enough. I know how to navigate my extremely confusing, somewhat scary, and altogether mysterious box you call a 'computer'. I just plug in the internet cable, go to the big blue E on my screen, and type in ''. That IS your IRL isn't it? Then it takes me to a search screen, I go to your Facebook page, and find your blog from there. That's the only way to get to it right?"

Leave the technical stuff to the fellas. We are happy to take care of it for you. The only way we would want you to have as much technical knowledge as us is if kitchen appliances required it. Ed note: Notice how those "smart" appliances aren't on the market yet? Just sayin.....

  As for men's patience when helping the fairer sex with technical issues.......see below.


Friday, November 18, 2011


I took this pic of my daughter and goddaughter a while back, but I keep forgetting to use it on a WTFriday post. 

When you see it.........

P.S. - Thanks to Lexi for originally pointing this out!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

It's Faturday!

On our trip to Vegas, we had some car issues. Nothing major, just nothing good. In a feeble attempt to appease the automobile gods to let us have a better trip on the way home, I have found a recipe from my auto's homeland, Korea. 

While my Kia may be made with paper clips, thumbtacks, and construction paper, it's going to have to suffice for a while, and the family truckster needs all the help she can get. I offer this Kimchi dumpling recipe to the Korean auto gods to leave us the hell alone for a while. (As I type this from my Samsung laptop connected to my Samsung phone......OMG, the Koreans own me.......)

Steamed Kimchi Dumplings (Jjin Kimchi Mandu)


Friday, November 11, 2011


This week's WTF moment brought to you by the SooperSpowse.

While walking through the school after my son's spelling bee, my wife and I noticed a school-made sign proudly displaying Tiger Woods on it.

My wife said "What is he on a poster here for?"

Me (after reading said poster) "Apparently, he had a speech disorder." 

My wife, the kindest, sweetest, gentlest soul on the planet says:

"Speech, huh....well, we all know he doesn't have E.D."

Reminder: This was very loud and very near the administration section of an elementary school. I love that woman.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The 3 Things...

The 3 Things About Trying to Watch Kids' Entertainment...

#1 - The more you like it, the greater the chance is they won't.

My kids read the first Harry Potter book before me. My niece has read all of them. I am on book 5 right now. I love them. I'm geeked out because ABC Family is showing the first 5 movies this week. My kids? Meh. Quit reading book 2. As soon as I showed an interest in it, they started backing off. Not maliciously, but nevertheless, I have to console myself by talking with my 10 year old niece about Hermoine and Muggles.


There's a reason these shows are called "Kid's Shows" on "Teenick", "Sprout", "Nick Jr.", etc. I understand I'm not the target market. When my daughter got into Victorious, and I started asking my son if he thought Kat was hot, I immediately felt like the creepy old dude.......but really, she's hot.


#3 - Monkeys program these networks.

I understand that they are trying to hold the interest of small children. I have absolutely ZERO idea on how they manage that. They show the same episodes OVER AND OVER AND OVER, and my children watch them, everytime they come on, without fail. They even watch the ones THEY CAN QUOTE LINE FOR LINE. I ask them to spend 10 minutes cleaning the backyard, however, and they forget what they're doing by minute 3. I wonder if the houses of the PhDs that create and design these shows are as clean as I think they aren't......except they have maids to do that commoner work....

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


#1 - Every Movie Theater Restroom EVER.

And for the ladies.....HERE is your monologue.

#2 - Rant Central

If you've ever gotten so angry about something, and didn't have a way to vent your frustruation, you must not have visited

Here you can vent about pretty much anything (NSFW) and feel better knowing that you have just posted your poor grammar and misspelled raving lunacies on the internet for millions to see. Here is a picture of a rant that an Englishman posted about HIS OWN COUNTRYMEN.

#3 - Perhaps the most awesome thing you will see this week.

Remember when Gaga wore that dress made of raw meat? Apparently, she was way behind in the wearing meat fad. Enter

The "Basebull Cap" by

 So much awesome. I don't even think Chuck Norris is more awesome than meat hats.

I can't even find another 2 websites that are more awesome than hats made of meat. I....I just.......I think I have to go peruse this site for about 4 or 5 hours. Until tomorrow.......meat. 

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Newsday Tuesday!

Well, it's official. The economy SUCKS. Jobs are disappearing, we're in debt, and people are trimming the fat to get by. Except for one New York county, where they are trimming the fattest, jolliest, beardedest man to ever bring joy to little children everywhere.

Faced with the difficult task of balancing a budget in austere times, officials in New York's Suffolk County said on Friday they had no choice: they had to sack Santa Claus.

That's right, folks....Santa has been downsized.

Mr. Claus, you have to activate your COBRA benefits by the end of the week. Good luck.

The county executive said he could not justify carving out $660 from his $2.7 billion budget to pay David McKell, 83, a World War II veteran and former homicide detective, to don his Santa suit for the tenth year running and greet children on Long Island.

What a jerk. Jerks must come from Long Island, right, Rob?

But fear not, a generous benefactor from a neighboring town stepped up!

In the end, Steve Bellone, the current town supervisor of nearby Babylon, who is running as the Democratic candidate to succeed Levy (ed. note - the guy who sacked Santa), said he would pay for Santa.

Levy, who is not running for reelection, dismissed Bellone's gesture as "pure grandstanding", and said his office was investigating whether the check breached rules governing gifts to county agencies.

And your next sign of the upcoming apocalypse? Santa being used as a political "bribe" to the constituents.


Monday, November 7, 2011

MANic MANday

Men are competitive by nature. God was probably trying to one-up someone when he gave men that trait. A good example of the competitiveness is shown in the movie The Jonses, when neighbors have to get the newest toy to keep up with the Joneses (I see what they did there.) For not a lot of fanfare (I didn't hear anything about it, just stumbled upon it one night), it's actually a pretty good flick.

Lumberg is laughing because his movie is still quoted heavily in popular culture. Poor Mulder.

Anyways, men have recently taken over traditional Thanksgiving dinners. I don't know when, why, or how it happened, but I have my conspiracy theory that a woman came up with the turkey frier to get out of doing Thanksgiving dinners, and the rest is history...and dangerous.

Nothing says "Thanksgiving" like 1st degree burns!

Me, being the SooperAusum manly man that I am, I am thinking about doing Thanksgiving dinner this year. Not frying, because I think one major trip to the hospital per year is good enough, thank you. I'm going more for content....which is why I introduce you to......

The Turducken

That's right. A chicken stuffed into a duck, which is stuffed into a turkey. Why? Because we're men. You're welcome.

P.S. - I apologize to my vegan friends, especially Maggie and Mike, who probably feel 10 kinds of violated by the above picture.'s still AWESOME!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

It's Faturday!

So, today is Guy Fawkes Day/Bonfire Night. If you don't know what that is, allow me to explain in culturally relevant terms. 

It's a holiday to celebrate the capture and eventual execution of British domestic terrorist Guy Fawkes for trying to assassinate King James I by blowing up Parliament.

For those who don't know who Guy Fawkes is, his image lives on in crappy movies like V for Vendetta and a large group of computer hackers that think it's cool to be Anonymous.


Only because their local Party City were sold out of Freddy Kreuger masks.

Anyways, apparently Bonfire Night is a big night to cook a special kind of toffee, called Treacle Toffee (I only knew Treacle from Hogsmeade) that is designed to stick your freaking jaws shut. Looking at the ingredients and reading more about it, however, it sounds somewhat similar to a Sugar Daddy here in 'Merica.

While looking for recipes for Bonfire Toffee, I happened upon this page, which houses an extra recipe for Bonfire Baked Potatoes. The time that was wasted typing this recipe makes me question if Brits don't put mind-altering substances in their treacle.....

Happy Attempted Assassination Day!

P.S. - I prefer to rename this particular confection "Don't Gives a Fawkes Toffee". It seems to fit more with Guy's M.O.

Friday, November 4, 2011


The Sieckman boys are carnivores. In fact, it's been scientifically proven that our happiness is inversely proportional to the time it takes to prepare our food. We've been known to stand with the fridge door open, randomly snacking on various pieces of leftover beef, sandwich meat, or any other hunk of formerly living animal we can forage from the fray. 



So, as we were visiting my parents' house this past weekend, it didn't shock me to find a little present left by my father when I went to use their computer.

That's a good snack right there. Too bad it's not finished.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The 3 Things...about Self-Employment

My father has been successfully self employed for well over 20 years. His small business has created jobs for family members, and recently expanded to more than 4 employees (none of which are family). I'm pretty proud of the fact that his business is hanging in there. 

My wife now owns her own aesthetic business, my sister and brother in law own run thier own business, and I've noticed that even in different industries, the perception of self-employment is the same. Here's what I've found:

#1 - "Must be nice to work whatever hours you want."

If anyone ever says this to you, and you're self-employed, I GUARANTEE that you have resisted the urge to punch him or her dead in the face. "Whatever hours you want" usually equates to roughly 9 a.m. to 10 p.m., 7 days a week. My wife has went in on her scheduled off days, stayed late for clients, opened early for clients; my dad has worked insane hours to meet deadlines. Here's the thing, it's not because they want to, it's because THAT is what is making their businesses thrive. Customer service is a lost art, ladies and gentlemen. Don't believe me? Find your nearest Wal-Mart and stand in an aisle for about 45 minutes........and then go look for someone to help you......and then find someone else that the previous someone sent you to because after 15 minutes of searching, he/she gave up and is sending you to a different department.

#2 - "You must make a ton, not having to split profits or anything"

This is the phrase that doesn't deserve a punch in the face. A kick in the shins will suffice for this dunce. Coming from personal experience, "ALL the profits" made in the course of business really means after the 75% gets put back INTO the business (products, wages, etc.), and the 15-20% in taxes that you have to put aside, You take your awesome 5% and go put that cash down payment on the Mabach you've been eyeing. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to know that a business is making money, and there are some that make a lot of money. But for the most part, having a roof over their heads is the best example a small business owner can show that they are successful.

Ironically, this is made with the actual amount the house is worth.

#3 - "There's no HR department, so you can do and say whatever you want."

They left out "Call your boss a douchebag."

Sigh.....this statement is untrue. As a business owner, you are not only the manager, purchasing agent, quality control, host/hostess, accountant, laborer, AND human resources department. Just because it's your business doesn't mean you can't lose your self control. There are still going to be jerk customers, jerk vendors, and jerk employees. There is no way for a small business to survive if they treat any of these people rudely enough to ensure that a negative word of mouth campaign IN THE VERY AREA THEY OPERATE IN would ensue. If a Wal-Mart has issues with staff, customers, or vendors in a specific area, they shut down the store and move it to another area. Small businesses can't do that. True, some businesses have used the Internet to increase their area of influence, but for the most part, they are local.

Now if you ever hear these words being said at a small business owner, tell them that their punk ass kid might be working for them someday, and to have a little respect. 


Wednesday, November 2, 2011



Quick hit before I get to bizniss. After my charity event last month, I thought it would be nice to highlight my friends' charity fundraisers as donate to Chris's Movember campaign for men's health and cancers here. Any kind of growth to cover up that face is well worth the money.

#5 - ...And Hipsters around the Universe rejoiced, for there was obscure music.

At StereoMood, they believe that:

behind every song there's always an emotion. we don't know why but maybe that's why we love music.

so we've created a way to suggest songs that follow your feelings: stereomood is the emotional internet radio, providing music that best suits your mood and your activities.

how do i feel? what am i doing now?

After selecting the "feeling", the site selects a playlist, which from the few that I browsed, seems like a lot of instrumentals and John Denver. I'm not saying it's necessarily BAD music, and the site does play appropriate music based on the feeling you choose, but I don't know why "I Miss Kevin" is a feeling....and a playlist.

#4 - Feeling smart? Try this and cry on your keyboard.

I'm a sucker for word games. Except Words With Friends, because April ruined that for me by annihilating me every game we played.

Yes, that is a 4-letter, 114 point word.

Try out Knoword, a game that gives you the definition and first letter of a word, and challenges you to find the correct word. Pretty neat game. Just remember that it's foreign, and they throw a lot of unnecessary "u"s in everywhere. My score was 555. 

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

You've been McServed...

For my non-AZ friends, and those who may have missed it, an Arizona woman was banned from eight local McDonalds in Gilbert, Chandler, and Phoenix because she scientifically exposed that your kids were playing in a pool of filth.

By David Kadlubowski, AP

I really hope this is one that passed her test.

Look, everyone knows that these play places are basically petri dishes for new strains of whatever virus is hitting us next, but she started this crusade after a little investigation led to a whole bunch of, literally.

Carr-Jordan's campaign, which covers six states, began in earnest after she had grime samples tested that she'd collected from a play area at a McDonald's in Tempe, Ariz., and discovered they contained pathogens found in fecal material and mucus, the Republic reports.

What she thinks set off the backlash from McDungnalds franchises was an incident where she found MRSA in a Gilbert franchise, and did what any crazy soccer mom would do.

Carr-Jordan tells the Republic that she believes the incident that set off the ire from McDonald's was one that took place at a Gilbert, Ariz., restaurant, where she found MRSA in the restaurant's PlayPlace and informed the manager as well as customers with children. When she saw one child licking the equipment, she demanded the restaurant close down the play area.

Crazy lady. Doesn't she know that the McManager can't shut it down just because a kid is licking the equivalent of about a billion buttholes? Besides, he has more McRibs to feed people like me.