Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Newsday Tuesday!

Well, it's official. The economy SUCKS. Jobs are disappearing, we're in debt, and people are trimming the fat to get by. Except for one New York county, where they are trimming the fattest, jolliest, beardedest man to ever bring joy to little children everywhere.

Faced with the difficult task of balancing a budget in austere times, officials in New York's Suffolk County said on Friday they had no choice: they had to sack Santa Claus.

That's right, folks....Santa has been downsized.

Mr. Claus, you have to activate your COBRA benefits by the end of the week. Good luck.

The county executive said he could not justify carving out $660 from his $2.7 billion budget to pay David McKell, 83, a World War II veteran and former homicide detective, to don his Santa suit for the tenth year running and greet children on Long Island.

What a jerk. Jerks must come from Long Island, right, Rob?

But fear not, a generous benefactor from a neighboring town stepped up!

In the end, Steve Bellone, the current town supervisor of nearby Babylon, who is running as the Democratic candidate to succeed Levy (ed. note - the guy who sacked Santa), said he would pay for Santa.

Levy, who is not running for reelection, dismissed Bellone's gesture as "pure grandstanding", and said his office was investigating whether the check breached rules governing gifts to county agencies.

And your next sign of the upcoming apocalypse? Santa being used as a political "bribe" to the constituents.


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