This is the coolest guy ever...

While I was searching for news stories this week, I came across a single headline:

"How exactly does a blind person cook food alone?"

Yes, please. Although I've never wondered this before, once the seed was planted, I couldn't resist.

Turns out Tommy Edison has a YouTube channel dedicated to showing us with vision how blind people do all kinds of everyday things.

Check this out....he cooks a hamburger and fries, burning himself less times than I usually do....WITH PERFECT VISION.

It's pretty neat and..HOLY HELL HOW MANY BEERS HAS HE HAD? (at 1:12)

 

Just say no...

I don't know what's worse....that this guy died, or that this incident was caught on video.....

I.......I don't...........I give up. Read the whole story here.

Another Game Post?

Yes, yes it is another game post. Apparently, us Call of Duty addicts aren't the only subhumans on the planet. Yes, we forget to bathe for days on end, become oblivious to our surroundings, and scream the phrase "Noobtuber" at the top of our lungs, immediately preceded or followed by some form of expletive; at least we havent been thrown off of an airplane. 

"He loves WWF so much that he was willing to leave a plane for it, but he has already boarded another AA flight," spokesman Matthew Hiltzik said in an e-mail to CNN.

In case you're wondering, WWF stands for Words With Friends. Apparently, Mr. Baldwin was in such a freaking intense game of WWF that he refused to stow his electronic device while they were at the gate and got tossed off like a common terrorist. 

Oh, but Mr. Baldwin, who is an avid Twidiot, decided to go ahead and make his disgust well known:

AlecBaldwin Alec Baldwin 

Flight attendant on American reamed me out 4 playing WORDS W FRIENDS while we sat at the gate, not moving. #nowonderamericaairisbankrupt

#IWonderHowYouMakeSoMuch$ByMisspellingCompanies'Names?

AlecBaldwin Alec Baldwin 

#theresalwaysunited Last flight w American. Where retired Catholic school gym teachers from the 1950's find jobs as flight attendants.

Apparently, he has lingering resentment from the gym teachers he, Stevie, and Billy had growing up. He should be thankful American is giving "seniors" jobs, because, if I can add correctly, he's a little over "hiring age" for Hollywood.

Douchebag.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Newsday Tuesday!

Well, it's official. The economy SUCKS. Jobs are disappearing, we're in debt, and people are trimming the fat to get by. Except for one New York county, where they are trimming the fattest, jolliest, beardedest man to ever bring joy to little children everywhere.

Faced with the difficult task of balancing a budget in austere times, officials in New York's Suffolk County said on Friday they had no choice: they had to sack Santa Claus.

That's right, folks....Santa has been downsized.

See the full gallery on Posterous

Mr. Claus, you have to activate your COBRA benefits by the end of the week. Good luck.

The county executive said he could not justify carving out $660 from his $2.7 billion budget to pay David McKell, 83, a World War II veteran and former homicide detective, to don his Santa suit for the tenth year running and greet children on Long Island.

What a jerk. Jerks must come from Long Island, right, Rob?

But fear not, a generous benefactor from a neighboring town stepped up!

In the end, Steve Bellone, the current town supervisor of nearby Babylon, who is running as the Democratic candidate to succeed Levy (ed. note - the guy who sacked Santa), said he would pay for Santa.

Levy, who is not running for reelection, dismissed Bellone's gesture as "pure grandstanding", and said his office was investigating whether the check breached rules governing gifts to county agencies.

And your next sign of the upcoming apocalypse? Santa being used as a political "bribe" to the constituents.

*Sigh*

Seattle Just Got A Little More Dangerous.

On Sunday, a travesty of justice was committed when Phoenix Jones, a superhero that roams Seattle streets to thwart crime was arrested on four counts of assault.

Apparently, Jones' superpower is spraying citizens with a can of pepper spray.

Police confiscated his kickass black and gold costume, but it's ok, because Jones HAS ANOTHER ONE, and expects to return to incapacitating evil-doers soon.

 

Jones, whose real name is Benjamin John Francis Fodor, calls himself leader of the Rain City Superhero Movement and is often accompanied by a videographer who captures his crime-fighting escapades.

Well, yeah, having a videographer tag along pretty much ruins the mystique and aura of being an ALTER-EGO based superhero. And what is up with that alliance name? Don't see it yet? Here.....

RAin CIty Superhero Movement

See it now?

Oh yeah, one last thing, apparently, being a superhero has it's perks. Like 17 THOUSAND fans on your Facebook page.

OK, ok. Seventeen thousand....and one.

Have a good Tuesday!