The Kryptonite Clause

I have used the term "Kryptonite Clause" several times before, and after googling a BUNCH, I finally found some others that have sprinkled it in meaning the same thing I do. Before I explain it, let me preface this by saying that this post isn't my normal goofy, hilarious, awesome, handsome, muscular, well-spoken self. This is a tad bit serious, and reflective.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. EVERYONE. Recently, there have been a lot of "Keyboard Warriors" that have decided to stand up and pretty much verbally attack a few fellow bloggers, contests, friends, and acquaintances of mine. I usually stay out of the fray, except when there's time to pop some corn and enjoy the public defamation of said Warriors.

Here's the bottom line. EVERYONE has their own brand of Kryptonite. This is the Kryptonite Clause. In my opinion, you cannot create a superhero without a flaw. It's impossible. Not only does it not resonate with readers, it makes it SO far unbelievable that anything surrounding the character is simply filler. No story can survive without some character flaw.

Think about it. Superman (obviously) has Kryptonite. Batman is a freaking genius, martial art master, but, he's human. Flesh and blood. He got his back broken by Bane (not a spoiler, in the books waaaaay before the movie). Spider-Man is the same. Wolverine? Crazy fast healing factor, unbreakable claws made of metal. Kryptonite? Magneto, controller of metal. Magneto's Kryptonite? Charles Xavier, psychic. Xavier's Kryptonite? He's challenged by being confined to a wheelchair. See where I'm going with this?

For those that choose to verbally attack others online, I wonder how you escaped the Kryptonite Clause. I know I didn't. I know my friends haven't. Your story must be filler. If it's not, acknowledge that you do, in fact, have the same Kryptonite Clause that everyone does, and accept that your weakness may not be the same as someone else's. Maybe someone else's weakness is being verbally abused because they grew up with it......or have been a victim of an abusive relationship in the past.....or just because they're human, and that's not the way we were meant to be treated.

The great thing about the Kryptonite Clause? It's not such a well guarded secret what your weaknesses are. Be mindful of that.

Netflix.....you sux.

Quiet Sunday at home with my 4, and my 5 nieces and nephews. I decided to check out some movies online that my kids might enjoy.

The week before we saw Avengers on Mother's Day, my family and I watched all the superhero films that were in the movie: Captain America, Thor, Iron Man 1 and 2, but left out the Hulk, because Mark Ruffalo.

The reason we got to see the Avengers on Mother's Day.

Anyways, the kids did really well sitting through all 4 of those movies AND The Avengers, so I tempted fate by trying to increase the streak. I have been having an itch to rewatch the X-Men movies, and finally watch Wolverine's movie. Cue Netflix.

Netflix doesn't have ANY of them. I checked Hulu AND Amazon streaming, and neither do they. WTF?

Here's where we get back to Netflix sucking.

Instead of having any of the original X-Men trilogy, X-Men: First Class, or X-Men Origins: Wolverine, THIS is what greeted me as the "Newest Arrivals"

Go ahead and take all of that awesomeness in for a second........

They don't stream ANY of the 5 X-Men movies......but Honey 2 is "Most Popular" today. The direct-to-DVD movie. The fucking street dancing movie. At least the first one had Jessica Alba in a tight top so guys had something to stare at while the horrible story unfolded.

Oh, and by the way, they recently added Urban Cowboy, because fuck Wolverine, that's why. And what do we have next to Urban Cowboy? Baby Boy, a movie about an unemployed BICYCLE MECHANIC living in Los Angeles. The movie has Tyrese and Snoop Dogg, who, you will be shocked to learn, was not nominated for an Oscar for his performance. Shocking. And next to that......is that 50 Cent? What the hell is 50 Cent doing in a movie? With Ray Liotta and Mario Van Peebles? oh....wait a second. 50 Cent wrote the fucking movie? Ugh.

And let's not forget the Gary Shandling obligitory pile of trash in the upper right hand corner. Mind you, these 5 were the only movies that I picked on. There were more.

Here's where it gets interesting.

Here are the review scores for these movies from RottenTomatoes.com:

Honey 2 - 5% of critics liked the movie, 45% of audience 

Urban Cowboy - a respectable 77% for both critics and audience......but it's still over 30 years old.

Baby Boy - A surprising 71% for critics, 85% for audience....wow. I'm really shocked.

All Things Fall Apart - No critic rating, 49% for audience.

X-Men: First Class - 87% critics, 88% audience

Granted, some of the X-Men movies are lower than Baby Boy, but come on. Then I got to poking around and there are NO superhero movies on Netflix, except for Superman 2 and Iron Man. No Batman, no Spider-Man, no Hulk. 

Get your heads out of your asses Netflix. I know the whole Qwikster thing lost you a ton of cash, as it well should have, but pull some better negotiations for licensing, so we can watch Wolverine instead of Leprechaun 74: Leprechaun in Da Nursing Home.

WTFriday!

Comic-book nerds have always had the stigma of living in their mothers' basements and just overall, being social outcasts.

 

This does ABSOLUTELY ZERO to help this image.

 

I give you.....licensed by DC Comics.......superhero Snuggies. *facepalm*

"Mom!! I told you not to come in the Batcave!"

The Man of Fleece

And..for the ladies. I don't see how this helps with housework, but whatever.

Seattle Just Got A Little More Dangerous.

On Sunday, a travesty of justice was committed when Phoenix Jones, a superhero that roams Seattle streets to thwart crime was arrested on four counts of assault.

Apparently, Jones' superpower is spraying citizens with a can of pepper spray.

Police confiscated his kickass black and gold costume, but it's ok, because Jones HAS ANOTHER ONE, and expects to return to incapacitating evil-doers soon.

 

Jones, whose real name is Benjamin John Francis Fodor, calls himself leader of the Rain City Superhero Movement and is often accompanied by a videographer who captures his crime-fighting escapades.

Well, yeah, having a videographer tag along pretty much ruins the mystique and aura of being an ALTER-EGO based superhero. And what is up with that alliance name? Don't see it yet? Here.....

RAin CIty Superhero Movement

See it now?

Oh yeah, one last thing, apparently, being a superhero has it's perks. Like 17 THOUSAND fans on your Facebook page.

OK, ok. Seventeen thousand....and one.

Have a good Tuesday!