A Dissertation on Melody...

Last weekend with the SooperKids, we were jamming out to tunes in the car. Suddenly, "Class A Team" by Ed Sheeran came on. I knew the song was about the dangers of drug use, but it's poignant and just all around a great song. Then I looked over to my oldest daughter to see her singing the words......especially the line "Go mad for a couple grams/And she don't wanna go outside tonight/And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland/Sells love to another man". As much as this disturbed me as a parent, I discussed the song with her, told her what the lyrics meant, and explained drug use and what it does. Then we watched the video together, which reinforced my little speech.



Then I started thinking: Music has such a powerful influence on us. On our moods, our lives, our memories. Do I censor radio or internet play when an inappropriate song comes on around my children? Yes, of course...to a point. I don't think my three year old singing Enrique Iglesias' "Tonight, I'm Fucking You" would be appropriate. Or the fact that she wants to brush her teeth with a bottle of Jack.

Don't get me wrong. I am a hypocrite. When I was 12 years old, I bought my first CD. It was the standard issue CD for every middle class white kid from the suburbs.

suck it, Ke$ha.

While my parents weren't necessarily approving, they allowed me the freedom to explore my own path enough for me to make my own decisions. However, I was not 3. I was 12.

So, as I was thinking about the music and lyrics appropriate for my children, I began to dissect the music world. I began listing songs and how they fit into specific categories.

1. Social Issues/Political Issues

While many citizens want their entertainers to entertain and stay the hell out of politics and messages, there are SO many songs that are great, but also raise awareness of some of the darker aspects of our society, culture, and political system. Here are a few:

• The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - "Face Down"

Domestic abuse, anyone? There have been multiple songs tackling this issue, but I prefer this one, specifically for the chorus.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to endAs your lies crumble down, a new life she has found

• Apocalyptica ft. Corey Taylor - "I'm Not Jesus"

OK, I'll see your domestic abuse and raise you child abuse by priests. No, really. If you haven't listened to the words of this song, it's an angry response to a horrible experience that no child should have to go through. The fact that you can feel Taylor's anger and resolve through his voice makes the song even better. 

I thought you were a good man,I thought you talked to God.You hippocratic, messianic, child abusing, turned satanic.
Do you remember me?Do you remember me?The kid I used to be?Do you remember?Do you remember?

2. Drugs

• Eric Clapton - "Cocaine"

Perhaps the only way to talk about cocaine in the 70's was to just say fuck it, name your song, and then repeat the word throughout the song. Also, my uncle taught me these lyrics when I was about 4 and then sent me to sing to my mom. She was not amused.

• Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel - "White Lines (Don't Do It)"

If you grew up in the 80's and didn't dream of pulling out the cardboard and breakdancing to this song, I'll call you a liar. Another about cocaine, but a warning instead of a ballad.

Ticket to ride, white line highway Tell all your friends, they can go my way Pay your toll, sell your soul Pound for pound costs more than goldThe longer you stay, the more you pay My white lines go a long way Either up your nose or through your vein With nothin to gain except killin’ your brain

3. Storytelling


Rather than just blither about something for 3 and a half minutes, many artists weave a story that resonates with people, and most of the time, the stories are amazingly creative and poignant.

• Five for Fighting - "100 Years"

Great song about trying to make every moment count.

• The Rolling Stones - "Sympathy For the Devil"

One of the greatest songs ever. Personifies the devil as the bringer of evils in the world, but also a refined gentleman.....kinda.


4. Inspirational

Songs that invoke a response, a call to action, or just a "feel good" attitude are sparse, but there are some.

• Katy Perry - "Firework"

While taking a break from her Friday night menage a trois, she managed to pull this out...

• Christina Aguilera - "Beautiful"

I was debating on what to call this artist, because she's shed her skin and changed so many times it makes my head spin....but this is a great song.

• Sarah McLachlin - "Angel"

If you haven't seen this meme, see it now. If you say it's false, I will call you a liar and then kick you in your puppy hating shins.

There are only two things you can do when you hear this song start this commercial. You can change the channel quickly like the cold, heartless bastard you are, or, you could try not to let your kids see you tear up at a FUCKING COMMERCIAL.

There you go. A small sampling of Soop's musical thought process......I know there's more, so what's your favorite songs in these categories?

FBI profiles music fans? NO....

I recently started following a blog called Lowering the Bar. It's a humorous look at some of the insane cases that are filed through the justice system.

This case caught my eye. Apparently the Insane Clown Posse has retained counsel to defend their fans' rights against being profiled as a "loosely-organized" gang. My understanding of a "loosely-organized" gang is basically a group of people with one mutual interest. So......Facebook users are technically a "loosely-organized" gang. I digress.....

"Loosely-organized"...psh. Couple of CEO's right here.

The zealous fans of ICP are called "Juggalos", and let me not sugar-coat this.....some of them are FUCKING CRAZY. Some of them are white-collar workers, with families and mortgages, but some of them are just sociopaths. There's even a website for these sociopaths who have been unjustly persecuted to go so they can submit their tales of woe.   

Completely normal, well-adjusted sociopaths.  I mean, they have couches.

Then I started thinking....why are they so upset?  Law enforcement have been profiling music lovers for YEARS. If you don't believe me, look at historical statistics for marijuana arrests and overlay Grateful Dead/Phish/Lilith Fair tour dates....I bet they line up pretty well. Just as drunk and disorderly arrests line up with Lynyrd Skynyrd/any country musician's tour dates.

Look, I know that not ALL fans of any particular genre/band should be lumped together. I hate lumping. What this case does, however, is set a precedent for fans and artists who love their fans to LEGALLY protect each other. Think about it.....

All those Bielebers that you can't stand, and make fun of in public, and whose parents have disowned them and forced them to obsess over a Canadian teenager in the basement of their friend's house can now go ahead and file a request for protection from persecution.....see where I'm going?

GOD FORBID, WATCH WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT NICKELBACK!   

Look at this court-imposed legal summons! Every time I do, it makes you sad.

WTFriday!

As I get into my cleaning routine, I like to have some tunes on. Luckily, Cox has a station that plays music videos...(remember when MTV did that? Now they have 3 stations, and the best we get is "The Situation"?)
My youngest daughter loves to watch the videos. She is beginning to foster her love for music.
The day this pic was taken, she came out with this item, and sat on the couch, watching the TV. I asked her why she had this on the couch, and what she was doing, and she said....
"I'm hanging out with Justin Beaver (sic)" *emphasis mine
Thank you society.

Musical MANday

I heard a song on the radio this weekend and it got me giggling. More on that in a second.

The song was by Jamie Foxx, and it brought back a memory. I used to work for a company that rented construction equipment to contractors. Once, we had a film shooting in my territory, and my awesome sales rep secured the deal, so we put a ton of equipment out at the location. I didn't get out in the field at all, but my rep and I worked pretty closely making sure this deal went smoothly from beginning to end. She ended up taking me for a visit to the location (which was AWESOME, and my first and only "Hollywood" experience).

And Arizona resembles the Middle East, apparently.

Anyways, we talked to some of the people on site, and one person, that had worked with Jamie Foxx before said, and I quote, "You better lock up your wives and daughters when he gets here". No smile, no nervous laugh. Dead serious.

Anyways, this song came on, and reminded me of the video. And this is why I laughed. Because, apparently, when going to a club, Mr. Foxx keeps some pimp ass company. Forest Whitaker? PIMP. Samuel L. Jackson? MEGAFUCKINGPIMP. Jake Gyllenhall? ....ok....maybe?

And then, the ultimate wingman. The biggest lady killer out there. The first person you should think of when you're asked "Who should you take to the nightclub to catch as much scattered ass as you can?"

OPIE MUTHAFUCKIN TAYLOR. That's right. Ron Howard is in the hizzouse, making it rain in the club. Apparently, even he's surprised, because at 00:46, he looks absolutely shocked that he is included in this video. 

Well played Hype Williams. Well played.

MANday Music Selection

Granted, I'm a little late on this one, and the song and accompanying meme and phrase have run their course, and seem to be more irritating than clever, but I'll make an exception.

Bros, I'm looking squarely at you. If you don't have a tween daughter, or an underage girlfriend with an affinity for bubble gum pop, you may not have heard Carly Rae Jepsen's song "Call Me Maybe". If you HAVE heard it, I can guarantee with about 80% certainty that you have heard it a minimum of 5000 times. Now, I'm fine with this video, because, honestly, Carly Rae isn't hard on the eyes. (ed. note: This is a personal opinion, and does not reflect on anyone affiliated with this blog.....namely, my wife.)

Damn you, Canada.

So, I was shocked to find out someone has outdone Carly Rae. Someone has finally made a video that markets this song to the exact opposite demographic it was targeted to. Hardcore, testosterone laden, beer swilling, carnivorous, Ron Swanson idolizing men, like you and me. 

How can they possibly do such a thing? - you ask. Allow me to introduce the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders singing "Call Me Maybe" (ed. note - Sorry Jets fans, but....yeah, not really)

Suddenly, my opinions about this song have changed. For all the bad press Florida has been getting lately, I'm sure this is a little welcome ray of sunshine. AND, the Dolphins PR team knows what they're doing, because the comments for this video have been disabled. Well played, Miami. 

A Late Christmas Gift for the SooperKrue - ADULTS ONLY.

Well, I've taken a small hiatus since before Christmas, and over the break, I have re-found another musical gem that will be my gift to you. All 4 of you. Enjoy! 

Before you ask, this guy is totally legit, he has his own website, Facebook, and......MySpace.

Someone showed me this a long time ago, and it popped into my head recently for some unknown reason....if you're REALLY brave, check out his other videos. He's done a song with Samantha Fox, for crying out loud. SOMEONE in the music industry takes this guy seriously enough.

 

The Evolution of Not So Manly Dancing

As I was cleaning the garage today (Very Manly.), a song came on with a dance/club beat, and I immediately jumped into my highlighter dance routine (Not So Manly, it will make sense later). After thinking about it, I noticed the trend of dancing subcultures that were considered wierd at the time....and not too manly.

The 70's - Disco

Let's face it, nobody wanted to admit they went to a disco hall to "cut a rug". If you needed a polyester jumpsuit and a huge mirror ball to feel manly, well then you're a manlier man than I, fine sir.

Testicles not necessary.

The 80's - Breakdancing

Actually, this might be the only really manly dancing in this list....who else is going to throw down a 1/8" piece of flimsy cardboard on a slab of concrete and spin ON HIS FREAKING HEAD.

Testicles EXTREMELY necessary.

The 90's - Rave

The beginning of Emo (in my opinion), Raves were kids who were too cool to go to a club to dance, so they went out into the desert or somewhere remote that nobody could find (even the people that wanted to go), and got drunk and danced like idiots. Here is where my highlighter dance comes in. I have people that can attest to my mad rave skills.

Little Timmy went on to become the most awesome Flight Deck Coordinator the Navy had ever seen.

The 00's - Dubstep

I must be getting old....what the......I don't even know what this is. *shaking head*

Testicles again not necessary.....wubwubwubwubwub.

WWWednesday!

So I stumbled across the best website ever.

It's http://www.drinkify.org, and it's amazing. It suggests drinks based on the artist you are listening to at the moment. It even mocks hipsters.

But for the most part, it stays on a pretty predictable path. Teenybop pop? Non-alcoholic. Classic? Something in a highball glass. Rap? Brown paper bag. 

It is hilarious.

And intriguing.

WTFriday!

To be honest, I wasn't going to do a WTFriday post this week. Feeling crappy and all.....but then my 4 year old reminded me why I do these posts. 

She has lately become obsessed with singing Selena Gomez's song "Tell Me Something I Don't Know", and will run up to me, sing the chorus, then stand there until I actually tell her something she doesn't know.

I was surprised the first time, so I think I made something up, but most of my "facts" are embellished. For instance, this exchange took place in the car 2 days ago.

Ally: "Tell me, tell me something I don't know. Dad."

Me: "The koala bear is the only indigenious bear to the Australian region, and can be quite deadly if provoked."

Ally: "That's a good one."

So, randomly she has been coming up singing the chorus, and demanding something she doesn't know. The pressure is too much!! If you have any random facts that I can use on her, PLEASE post them for me. Otherwise, I will have to ship her off to the only despository of trivial information that I know of........my father. 

Check out the full video. I'm becoming a fan of Selena Gomez. And I'm secure in my manhood.....go figure. Happy Friday!