FFS Friday!!

Being from the Southwest US has its advantages. No snow, no rain, and no green vegetation being some of them.

Mexican cuisine is VERY popular down here. Not Taco Bell Mexican cuisine, I'm talking serious "you better  find the location of every restroom between this place and your house" Mexican cuisine. A lot of the restaurants make sure to let everyone know what style Mexican cuisine they have. Everything from mariscos to the standby arroz con pollo.

Much like the rest of the world, Mexican cuisine is different by region. Granted, I was unaware of each region's specialties, but a big one here is Sonoran style cuisine. All I know about Sonoran style cuisine is that it's Mexican food.

Now, forward to driving around downtown Mesa. Imagine my surprise to see this local joint touting Sonoran   food.

What.

Of course, I laughed at this, and said "Go home hot dog stand, you are drunk". But then, I decided to found out what exactly was going on here. Turns out.....it's a real thing.

The Sonoran-style or Estilo Sonora hot dog, found in Tucson, Metro Phoenix, and in neighboring Sonora, Mexico, is a hot dog wrapped in mesquite-smoked bacon then cooked on a grill or on a griddle or comal,^[2] then topped with beans, grilled onions, fresh onions, tomatoes, mayonnaise, cream sauce, mustard and Jalapeno salsa or sauce and served on bread and often with a side fresh-roasted chili. It originated in Hermosillo, the capital of Sonora.

So...hot dog, wrapped in bacon, toppings, MAYONNAISE, CREAM SAUCE and JALAPENO SALSA.

Stay tuned for the review post, y'all.

Have a great weekend SooperPhrends! 

FFS Fried-ay

America has an obesity problem. If it's not pounded into your head by your doctors, it's the media, government, and anybody else that will listen. I agree that America has an obesity issue. The issue is that we make AWESOME, delicious food.

Shock eating is nothing new. Any schlub can make an insanely fatty, grease-laden, cheese spouting, bacon topped monstrosity of a burger. As a matter of fact, before they moved to Sin City (ironic, isn't it?), the Heart Attack Grill (music autoplays in link, be careful) was located about 5 miles from where I currently live now. They prided themselves on the fat content of their burgers. Their largest burger, the Quadruple Bypass is 2 lbs of beef. There's a fair amount of shock involved there.

Meanwhile, the atmosphere is peaceful and serene.

Now, I get the shock factor. But when I came across this......this tribute to all that is gluttonous and great, my heart sighed, my arteries shivered, and my mouth cursed. BEHOLD!

ER. MER. GERD.

Slater's 50/50 restaurants in California created the Doughnut Burger. A "50/50 patty" (half bacon, half beef), topped with an egg (sunny side up), in between two glazed doughnuts. While this burger may be a little over the top, Slater's actually seems like a "gourmet burger" joint. Some of their ideas, though.......sheesh. Here are a few:

Fried Chicken and Pancakes - Fried chicken topped with  house-made-bacon-infused-country gravy, two strips of thick cut bacon, and a fried egg between three buttermilk pancakes, smothered in real maple syrup. 

Peanut Butter Jellousy Burger - Ground beef topped with thick cut bacon, creamy peanut butter and strawberry jelly, served on a honey wheat bun.

And the best: Drumroll please..........

Thanksgiving Burger - A juicy ground turkey patty with stuffing, turkey gravy, cranberry sauce, and sage mayonnaise, served on a honey wheat bun.

I may have to make a special trip to California for this place. And Dr. Wright, if you somehow happen to stumble upon this pinnacle of humbleness that is my blog.....you never read this. No se habla ingles. Por Favor. Muy bien. Gracias, senor.

MANday Pub Fare

Guys....I saw these at my local convenience store this weekend. And I was amazed. If peanuts or pretzels aren't your thing at the bar, I suggest you try these.

MOTHER FUNYAN BEER CHIPS.

No, I haven't tried them, so I can't vouch for the quality, but......come on. It's BEER. and POTATO CHIPS. We all win here, folks. Oh, and ladies, there is even Margarita flavored chips....

HELL to the YEAH.

The 3 Things.....About the Fourth

Yesterday was the Fourth of July, a great day of independence from tyranny and the birth of a great nation. I loved watching fireworks when I was a kid, because that was the only reason the 4th of July appeals to school age children. It's already in the middle of summer, so you're not missing school, what the hell kinda holiday does that?!?

Anyways, as we age, the Fourth becomes about more than just fireworks. It becomes a multi-faceted day of rejoice and horror.

1) Food is cheap, and it's everywhere.

Because food and beverages are kind of like adult's candy, some of us (ed. note - the author) just love to stuff our gullets full of hot dogs, potato salad, soda, beer, chips, burgers, and any other concoction of whatever grill-worthy food we can find. The grocery stores perpetuate this by having killer sales the week of the Fourth. So after I got done eating 4 pounds of food, the neighbor's started their grill.......and I got hungry again. Let's face it.....I'm kinda the Kobayashi of the holidays in my family.

I love Nathan's Wieners.

2) Finding a fireworks show for your kids SUCKS. 

When I was a kid, I sat on my rooftop with my dad and a pair of binoculars and saw no less than 2 fireworks shows a year. Now, the shows are scheduled air tight, by region, and larger venues get priority market share over smaller places. AND you have to drive. So now, you're about an hour or more into your food coma, and you have to load up the family truckster to go watch a 30-45 minute firework show with 100 people, IF YOU CAN FIND A PARKING SPOT. And God help you if you have an obstructed view. If you're not sure, wait until the very first pop is heard. No matter from where, it could be behind you, and one kid is sure to say "I didn't see it".

AZ DOT has given up on these holidays

3) What you come home to is a crap shoot.

I had a dog that used to go absolute apeshit on the Fourth from the noise. So much so, that it literally TORE THE DRYWALL APART trying to get at the door. I always forget the damage an animal can cause when it is freaked out by earth-shattering explosions. My neurotic dog hears a leaf rustle outside, and she barks as if there's someone kicking down the front door. I was crossing my fingers to try to convince myself that there wasn't going to be a half-eaten couch, or carpeting transplanted to places where there previously was no carpet. 

Don't ask where the cat is. And don't wear your loafers.....ever again.

No damage, happy pets, happy kids, and happy dad. Good weather (80 degrees for AZ in July!!) , good food, and family made the day even better. Oh, and SooperSpouse and I kicked ass all over the Trivial Pursuit board. That was the best part. Although I do feel bad, because my in-laws really aren't that bright.

FFS Friday

Since my heart attack, Amanda has gone back to school and is working to support us in a small business. While I volleyball back and forth between doctors saying I shouldn't work, I should work, I should stand on my head, I need an elephant heart, etc., we have needed government assistance. I'm not proud of this fact, but it is a fact. I usually don't comment or post about my time at the welfare office, but today was an odd day.....

To the meathead:

We get it. You're a bad dude. If the homemade prison tats didn't clue anybody in, the fact that you held a conversation at a decibel level above that which normal conversations are held, all while cursing loudly and threatening someone's well being, did. I really hope that the "motherfucker" you were "going to kick [his] teeth in" escaped your wrath. For future reference, though, if you plug your headphones into said phone and start listening to "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna loud enough for everyone in the immediate vicinity to hear.....we're going to laugh at you.

"I'm a Barbie girl.....in a Barbie worrrrllld...."

To the methhead couple next to me:

Arguing over who spent your rent money to "party" is dumb. Especially since you weren't fooling anyone since you referenced "party" over 80 times in your argument. Especially since apparently, you both weren't at the same "parties". Everyone knows you were referring to drugs. Nobody is that stupid. Oh, and the tickling/wrestling/dry humping bout you performed for A FUCKING HOUR after the fight? A little overboard. 

P.S. - Asking me for change at a welfare office should be criminally stupid. If I had expendable income, I wouldn't have to be there. Dumbfuck.

"Y'all got a cheeseburger?"

To the security guard:

Quit yelling at the children running around and having a good time. I'm sure I can speak for everyone when I say we would rather dodge them and hear them laugh, than stay stationary and SCREAM FOR FOUR HOURS. Oh, and "Security" carries the connotation that you are protecting us against something, so you might want to get your old fat ass up off your ergonomically correct chair and, I don't know, secure the perimeter of the office or something....at least secure the perimeter of your own desk.

To the little girl in front of me with McDonald's:

Your parents should be put to death. It's bad enough that there are 100 people trapped in this office, afraid to get up and lose their place in the rotation, bad enough that most of us had been there for over 4 hours, but you bring in a greasy bag of Mickey Deez and start eating your delicious golden fries ONE BY FUCKING ONE. I'm surprised and disappointed that you did not create a mob scene.

I love my visits to government.