Friday, June 29, 2012

FFS Friday

Since my heart attack, Amanda has gone back to school and is working to support us in a small business. While I volleyball back and forth between doctors saying I shouldn't work, I should work, I should stand on my head, I need an elephant heart, etc., we have needed government assistance. I'm not proud of this fact, but it is a fact. I usually don't comment or post about my time at the welfare office, but today was an odd day.....

To the meathead:

We get it. You're a bad dude. If the homemade prison tats didn't clue anybody in, the fact that you held a conversation at a decibel level above that which normal conversations are held, all while cursing loudly and threatening someone's well being, did. I really hope that the "motherfucker" you were "going to kick [his] teeth in" escaped your wrath. For future reference, though, if you plug your headphones into said phone and start listening to "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna loud enough for everyone in the immediate vicinity to hear.....we're going to laugh at you.

"I'm a Barbie a Barbie worrrrllld...."
To the methhead couple next to me:

Arguing over who spent your rent money to "party" is dumb. Especially since you weren't fooling anyone since you referenced "party" over 80 times in your argument. Especially since apparently, you both weren't at the same "parties". Everyone knows you were referring to drugs. Nobody is that stupid. Oh, and the tickling/wrestling/dry humping bout you performed for A FUCKING HOUR after the fight? A little overboard. 

P.S. - Asking me for change at a welfare office should be criminally stupid. If I had expendable income, I wouldn't have to be there. Dumbfuck.

"Y'all got a cheeseburger?"

To the security guard:

Quit yelling at the children running around and having a good time. I'm sure I can speak for everyone when I say we would rather dodge them and hear them laugh, than stay stationary and SCREAM FOR FOUR HOURS. Oh, and "Security" carries the connotation that you are protecting us against something, so you might want to get your old fat ass up off your ergonomically correct chair and, I don't know, secure the perimeter of the office or least secure the perimeter of your own desk.

To the little girl in front of me with McDonald's:

Your parents should be put to death. It's bad enough that there are 100 people trapped in this office, afraid to get up and lose their place in the rotation, bad enough that most of us had been there for over 4 hours, but you bring in a greasy bag of Mickey Deez and start eating your delicious golden fries ONE BY FUCKING ONE. I'm surprised and disappointed that you did not create a mob scene.

I love my visits to government.

1 comment:

  1. Don't ever feel bad about it. It's there for people who need it, which I have myself several times in my life. I personally have no problem with our tax money going to help people. It's funny how some people hate that it goes toward helping people, but have no problem when it goes toward killing people. Anyway, that's a whole other can of worms. And of course there are bad apples abusing the system, which gives certain people the desire to abolish the whole system. I'm glad I'm not in California anymore, dealing with the welfare office there. Here in Texas, it's so much easier. Which could be a bad thing if you hear my ultra-conservative friends talk about it. Well anyway, at least the dumbfucks down there provide some level of entertainment, albeit annoying entertainment after a while, and at least they provide topics of discussion for blog posts!