SooperReflections Sunday

Finally...Sunday. A day of rest and remembrance of the past week and it's offerings, so that we may learn from our mistakes, bask in our triumphs, and ponder our dilemmas........

Who am I kidding? It's a whole day of recovering from Saturday, and dreading going back to work tomorrow.

But...here are some random thoughts from the past week....

I wish I believed my wife watched the Maroon 5 "Moves Like Jagger" video because she likes the song............and not because of this:

It's amazing to me how children can watch the same episode of the same show more over and over and over.....

People that use thier middle name as thier actual name should be bludgeoned until they refer to themselves by thier first and last names only.

I am definitely Team Olivia.

If you have watched the full season of Game of Thrones, and saw it coming, I would call you a liar.

The opening FMV sequence for Deus Ex: Human Revolution is AMAZING.

Sriracha sauce is God's greatest gift to man....is there anything you CAN'T put it on?

And finally...........

It's only been 3 hours since my 4 year old found out what a knock-knock joke is, and I already am getting tired of saying "Justin Bieber who?".

Faturday, Bork Bork!!

So, I heard about this National Novel Writing Month in November,and I'm thinking about flexing my impressive literary muscle and try to write 50,000 words in the span of a month. (It probably won't be a novel, it most likely will be satire, much like this blog). In order to train my mind and body for a month-long marathon of soul-crushing disappointments, I have decided to try to write at least one post a day for the month of October. I have decided today that I will try to use themes, much like other blogs, but awesomer. My goal is to get you, my awesome readers, engaged....to have you share this with your friends, and have them get engaged. The more feedback I get on my writing, the more ideas are shared with me, the better off I will be in this project. So PLEASE feel free to comment, share, invite friends, link up, or promote my blog as much as you can!

So today is Faturday, not as in "You're Fat.", more like since I quit smoking after my heart attack, I realized that I can actually taste food again, so I have been experimenting with a lot of different and complex recipes at home.

But today isn't about that.......no.........no, it's not.

All my culinary accomplishments were extinguished in one single moment. I was heartbroken, much like my daughter, when I told her (jokingly) that I wouldn't allow Justin Beiber to marry her because I like Selena Gomez too much to hurt her feelings like that.

My wife dragged my family and I to that bastion of efficiency and stuff you didn't know you needed until you see it made by Swedes, Ikea. We hadn't eaten yet, so we decided to visit thier "cafe", which consisted of a lady behind a Panda Express-type buffet serving assembly. Of course, I got the Swedish Meatballs, or as I now refer to them, Angel's Hand-Rolled Slices of Heaven. 

As I cried into the plate of gravy and mashed potatoes, I realized that for all my newfound interest in cuisine, a chinese lady in a hairnet, working in a Swedish store in America brought me to my knees with her meatballs. Sweet, sweet, chinese lady.

But, I have done you, my fair readers, a favor, and found a copycat recipe, so you too can experience what can only be compared to eating unicorn meat. 

You can almost hear the harps while you make this...

And, since I am a child of the 80's.....I have found this clip which is awesome in it's own right. Enjoy!

 

WTFriday!

At a store that will remain nameless, but a chain store, mostly found in malls, frequented by teenagers and parents looking to get their children's ears pierced, I found the following item......on thier "cheap shit" rack.

Having bowled competitively for 20+ years, I can tell you without a doubt there are no "true styles". Unless they are talking about the pins, in which case they tried to follow "making carefully" in the most generic sense. Let's use this phrase in other marketing campaigns!

• Subway: Making carefully the simulating true styles of 5 dollar footlongs.
• Mazda: Simulating true styles and making of ZOOOOOM.
• Chevy: Simulating true American styles and making carefully the heartbeat.
• Nike: Just making carefully the true do it styles.

P.S. - the store rhymes with "Flares".

It's not who's the strongest or fastest, it's who does the most good...

Let me clarify this Extra Life donation drive I'm involved in. If you are my Facebook friend, you have seen my posts asking for money to play video games for 24 hours. I have a feeling some of you shook your head behind your screen and muttered something about "...ridiculous trying to raise money by playing games", or "he does that already, I'm not giving him MONEY for it", or "this is such a scam".
Look. It's not a scam. If you think it is, I have a different opportunity for you. I know this Nigerian prince that needs to wire his money over here. Just give him your bank account number and half of his fortune can be YOURS!!
First, let me explain why I am doing THIS event.
Perhaps you haven't heard about my heart attack. I would LOVE to do the marathon/walkathon/jump ropeathon/danceathon/bowlathon etc., but I would LOVE to not test the threshold of my INTERNAL CARDIAC DEFRIBULLATOR.

"Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery? Try licking an electricity transformer instead."
The simple fact is that this event is more my speed. While sedentary in nature, and not typically a fund-raising event, it is something that I can still do well enough to finish the event. 
The point I'm trying to make is that although the activity may seem sketchy to you, the reason for doing it is most definitely a personal matter to me, and many others who have had similar experiences.
Meet my niece, Anna:

About 3-1/2 years ago, Anna woke up one morning and couldn't tie her shoes anymore. When her parents asked her what was wrong, she couldn't form coherent sentences. They took her to a local hospital, then she was transported to Phoenix Children's Hospital. She had a subarachnoid hemorrhage.

See that white stuff inside her head? That's blood. That's not supposed to be there.
From the above link:

 Up to half of all cases of SAH are fatal and 10–15% of casualties die before reaching a hospital,^[1]and those who survive often have neurological or cognitive impairment.^[3]

Anna had to have emergency brain surgery. At 6 years old.

She made it through, and now is healthy and happy, thanks to the staff and surgeons at PCH.

Anna and her surgeon, Doctor Moss.
I hope this sheds some light on why I keep posting messages begging for donations for my event.
I want to help the people that helped my family. Anyone would do the same.
I know the economy sucks, and I know every penny counts in your personal budget, but anything helps.
I have recieved donations from:

• a retired government worker on a fixed income
• a mother of 3 that recently gave birth (do you know how much diapers cost?)
• a single mother of 3
• many people that probably couldn't "afford" it.

I understand the hardship of giving money away. But give PCH the first beer of your Friday night barhop, the first latte of your work week, or simply the change from filling up your car.
Please donate anything you can. I appreciate your support and time for reading this.
Donate HERE!

WTFriday!

To be honest, I wasn't going to do a WTFriday post this week. Feeling crappy and all.....but then my 4 year old reminded me why I do these posts. 

She has lately become obsessed with singing Selena Gomez's song "Tell Me Something I Don't Know", and will run up to me, sing the chorus, then stand there until I actually tell her something she doesn't know.

I was surprised the first time, so I think I made something up, but most of my "facts" are embellished. For instance, this exchange took place in the car 2 days ago.

Ally: "Tell me, tell me something I don't know. Dad."

Me: "The koala bear is the only indigenious bear to the Australian region, and can be quite deadly if provoked."

Ally: "That's a good one."

So, randomly she has been coming up singing the chorus, and demanding something she doesn't know. The pressure is too much!! If you have any random facts that I can use on her, PLEASE post them for me. Otherwise, I will have to ship her off to the only despository of trivial information that I know of........my father. 

Check out the full video. I'm becoming a fan of Selena Gomez. And I'm secure in my manhood.....go figure. Happy Friday!

 

Blech.....Happy Hump Day.

Well, today is the day the house illness finally hit me. I was the last holdout, but my immune system decided that the defense sector is crumbling, and the economy is too weak to support inanimate objects of thier talent caliber.

Things I have to do while sick:

• Wake up early and take the kids to school
• Make breakfast
• Play pretend cafe
• Change dirty diapers
• Be subjected to ear-splitting screams 
• Pick up after my children
• Try not to breathe on anything/anyone

Things I want to do while sick:

• Sleep

So as you can see, I am quickly learning that being a stay at home parent SUCKS when you are sick. I am lucky in the fact that I have sister-in-laws close, and they would help if I needed it, but then, whatever would I blog about? If I can't post my misery in a public forum to gain sympathy and attention, then what good is the internet for?

On a side note, about REAL sick people...I am raising money for Children's Miracle Network Hospitals, more specifically Phoenix Children's Hospital, where my niece Anna received a life-saving brain surgery. I am participating in an event called Extra Life, and I'm trying to raise as much money as I can to help out a worthy cause. I know the economy sucks, and money is tight, but any amount you can donate is helpful and appreciated! 

Click here to donate!

WTFriday!

My oldest daughter had an assignment in her school, to just jot down some random facts about herself, you know, "whatever (she) thought of first". Here is what she brought home.

I guess I should have thought out "Family Dexter Night" a little more....