It's Faturday!

In celebration of Beyonce and HOVA's new arrival, I Googled "Blue Ivy Recipes", and low and behold, there is a website called The Blue Ivy with recipes.....

Here is a yummy sounding Butternut Squash and Sweet Potato Soup recipe from them!

Serves 4

Ingredients

1 box chicken or vegetable broth 
1 medium squash (3 pounds)
1 medium sweet potato
1 medium sweet onion 
1/4 cup butter
1 tbsp ground nutmeg (or to taste)

Directions

1. Peel squash and sweet potato (Hint: If you are useless with a knife like me, use a potato peeler) and cut into 1" squares. Add to large pot.
2. Peel onion, cut as desired, add to pot.
3. Add broth, butter
4. Bring to boil, add nutmeg and simmer until squash is soften.
5. Blend with a hand mixer.

 

It's Faturday!

In celebration of Beyonce and HOVA's new arrival, I Googled "Blue Ivy Recipes", and low and behold, there is a website called The Blue Ivy with recipes.....

Here is a yummy sounding Butternut Squash and Sweet Potato Soup recipe from them!

Serves 4

Ingredients

1 box chicken or vegetable broth 
1 medium squash (3 pounds)
1 medium sweet potato
1 medium sweet onion 
1/4 cup butter
1 tbsp ground nutmeg (or to taste)

Directions

1. Peel squash and sweet potato (Hint: If you are useless with a knife like me, use a potato peeler) and cut into 1" squares. Add to large pot.
2. Peel onion, cut as desired, add to pot.
3. Add broth, butter
4. Bring to boil, add nutmeg and simmer until squash is soften.
5. Blend with a hand mixer.

 

It's Faturday!

For some reason this morning, my oldest daughter was watching "Cupcake Wars" on Food Network. I looked for the "Green Bean Casserole Cupcake" that was on the show she watched, but couldn't find it.

Alas, don't fret, intrepid kitchen conquistadors, I have found a better recipe, that speaks very deeply to my German roots.

I give you......Beer and Sauerkraut Fudge Cupcakes with Beer Frosting. No typos.

Ingredients

• 2/3 cup butter
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 3 large eggs
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder
• 2 1/4 cups sifted all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon soda
• 1 cup beer (recommended: Capital Munich Dark)
• 2/3 cup sauerkraut
• 1 cup raisins (optional)
• 1 cup chopped nuts (optional)
• Beer Frosting, recipe follows

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line standard cupcake pans with 18 cupcake liners.

 

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream butter and sugar until light and smooth. Add the eggs, 1 at a time, beating until each is smooth, scraping down the sides of the bowl if needed. Add the vanilla. Sift the cocoa, flour, baking powder, soda, and salt in a large bowl. In the creamed bowl, alternate the leftover ingredients beginning and ending with dry ingredients. Stir in the sauerkraut. Fill the cupcake liners 2/3 full. Bake until the cupcake springs back when touched, about 35 minutes. Transfer the pans to wire racks to cool completely before removing the cupcakes.

 

To assemble: Frost the cooled cupcakes with Beer Frosting.

• This recipe was provided by professional chefs and has been scaled down from a bulk recipe provided by a restaurant. The Food Network Kitchens chefs have not tested this recipe, in the proportions indicated, and therefore, we cannot make any representation as to the results.

Beer Frosting:

• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 3 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar, divided
• 1/3 cup unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 1/3 cup beer, divided (recommended: Capital Munich Dark)

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, mix the softened butter with half the confectioners' sugar. Add the cocoa, salt, and roughly 1/3 of the beer. Beat until smooth. Alternate adding the remaining sugar with the remaining beer and beat until fluffy.

It's Faturday!

After Maggie D. so generously posted this awesome pic to my Facebook page, I wondered what I would have on my menu if I had a bar/pub...

And while thinking of "bar food", my brain immediately seized on the following recipe. I tried to think of better bar food, but kept coming back to the Granddaddy of Ham and Cheese Sammiches. The Bennigan's Monte Cristo....

 

INGREDIENTS:

6 slices cooked turkey
6 slices Swiss cheese
6 slices cooked ham
6 slices American cheese
18 slices wheat bread
 ***Batter***
1 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/3 cup water
1 large egg, beaten
 oil, for deep frying
powdered sugar
red raspberry jelly

PREPARATION:

Assemble sandwiches: Bread, turkey, Swiss cheese, bread, ham, American cheese, bread; cut in half diagonally. 

Whisk flour, baking powder, and salt together to blend well. Add water to the egg and add to the flour mixture mixing well. Dip each sandwich half into the batter and deep-fry (oil must cover the sandwich) in oil pre-heated to 360 degrees F until golden brown. 

Remove from oil to paper towels. Sprinkle with the powdered sugar. Serve with warm or room temperature jelly, if desired.

 

NUTRITION:

569 calories, 21 grams fat, 62 grams carbohydrates, 32 grams proteinper serving.

Show full nutritional data (including Weight Watcher's Points ®, cholesterol, sodium, vitamins, and diabetic exchanges)

It's Faturday!

I know of someone who went to N'Awlins this week, and it reminded me of one specific event at my past job. 

We bought light towers from a company in N'Awlins, and to show their gratitude, the sales rep and an officer of the company came out to our store to cook some authentic grub.

The sales rep (what....you expect the exec to cook?) grabbed a HUGE wok that he apparently brought with him, loaded an empty 55 gallon metal drum we had on hand with coal, and cooked some of the best sausage and shrimp jambalaya I have ever had. I think just standing there watching him cook dinner in a 55 GALLON FREAKING DRUM might have enhanced the flavor. 

This then reminded me of the Cajun Colonel Sanders (trademark pending) himself, Justin Wilson. If any of you have not heard Justin Wilson, I Garontee that you won't understand a fucking word he says.....but he knows how to cook Cajun food! Too bad vamps, werewolves, fairies, and witches are overrunning Louisiana now.....

Justin Wilson's Jambalaya

 

It's Faturday!

About a month ago, I learned that Denny's had added some new items to their menu. I immediately thought, "At last! Now when my friends are drunk and/or high at 3 a.m., I know that they can have comfort food!".

My second thought (of course), was a Facebook post.

Since then, some family members (yeah, I'm looking at you, Mychele) have thrown thier cardiac caution to the wind, and partaken in these dairy delights. Alas, because of my prediliction toward MY HEART STOPPING, I don't want to chance eating these dreamy delicacies, which probably taste like angel's kisses and rainbows. 

But, for my ausum readers, I have found another glorious recipe for grilled cheese. And what does this deliciousness include? Brie, ham, apples, cinnamon, and....oh yeah, F'ING CINNAMON BUNS FOR THE BREAD.

You're welcome.

Bork Bork!

Faturday, Bork Bork!!

So, I heard about this National Novel Writing Month in November,and I'm thinking about flexing my impressive literary muscle and try to write 50,000 words in the span of a month. (It probably won't be a novel, it most likely will be satire, much like this blog). In order to train my mind and body for a month-long marathon of soul-crushing disappointments, I have decided to try to write at least one post a day for the month of October. I have decided today that I will try to use themes, much like other blogs, but awesomer. My goal is to get you, my awesome readers, engaged....to have you share this with your friends, and have them get engaged. The more feedback I get on my writing, the more ideas are shared with me, the better off I will be in this project. So PLEASE feel free to comment, share, invite friends, link up, or promote my blog as much as you can!

So today is Faturday, not as in "You're Fat.", more like since I quit smoking after my heart attack, I realized that I can actually taste food again, so I have been experimenting with a lot of different and complex recipes at home.

But today isn't about that.......no.........no, it's not.

All my culinary accomplishments were extinguished in one single moment. I was heartbroken, much like my daughter, when I told her (jokingly) that I wouldn't allow Justin Beiber to marry her because I like Selena Gomez too much to hurt her feelings like that.

My wife dragged my family and I to that bastion of efficiency and stuff you didn't know you needed until you see it made by Swedes, Ikea. We hadn't eaten yet, so we decided to visit thier "cafe", which consisted of a lady behind a Panda Express-type buffet serving assembly. Of course, I got the Swedish Meatballs, or as I now refer to them, Angel's Hand-Rolled Slices of Heaven. 

As I cried into the plate of gravy and mashed potatoes, I realized that for all my newfound interest in cuisine, a chinese lady in a hairnet, working in a Swedish store in America brought me to my knees with her meatballs. Sweet, sweet, chinese lady.

But, I have done you, my fair readers, a favor, and found a copycat recipe, so you too can experience what can only be compared to eating unicorn meat. 

You can almost hear the harps while you make this...

And, since I am a child of the 80's.....I have found this clip which is awesome in it's own right. Enjoy!