|She's checking the spreads.|
FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR KIDS
|I'M THE MAP!!!!!|
Swiper the Fox - Hands. HANDS. This guy has sticky fingers. He always seems to show up when shit's going down also. Elusive, and apparently, invisible, because Dora can NEVER SEE THIS GUY. All the qualities you need for an elite receiver.
There's always one player that you despise to draft, but you need him to fill a spot. Caillou may be the most hated children's character on the planet, but LOOK AT THAT NOGGIN. That kid could lower his head and run through any line. Plus the momentum he would have from throwing that bowling ball out in front of him would be a huge advantage. AND he won't have to worry about helmet hair. WHY DOESN'T THIS KID HAVE HAIR?!?!
|The league fined him for accessory violations.|
|He could see the whole field with those peepers.|
Big Bird - Because a 7 foot tall, bright yellow target would probably be the easiest thing to throw to, like ever. Duh.
Brobee from Yo Gabba Gabba - HUGE wingspan to knock thrown passes away. Low center of gravity, and MASSIVE SPIKES IN HIS HEAD. Forget concussions, opposing players are worried about impalement.
|Dude needs to pluck.|
Teletubbies - Two corners, two safeties, used to running rampant in open fields, and apparently on the same wavelength. Don't mind the fact that they are crazy, and keep yelling for toast and random objects, including a purse. The open field tackle dance/interception dance would be AWESOME, but I wonder what video would play on their stomachs.
There you have it, Fantasy Football made for kids. Meh, at least the refs would be better.