Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Reppin' the U S A Fo Shizzle

So...the Olympics started this week. To be honest, I haven't gotten into this Olympiad like I have in prior years. But the oldest boy wanted to check it out, so we turned it on Saturday morning. I watched Michael Phelps barely make the finals of the 400 meter individual medley.

Then, as NBC resumed it's broadcast of Olympic elven ping pong shotput (it might have been men's speed texting or submarine racing, I couldn't tell), we went about our day. My local news source later in the day committed a horrific act.

They posted this picture of Ryan Lochte posing with his gold medal 10 hours before airtime in Arizona. I know, I know, I'm crying, and if I wanted to watch it live, I could have found a way, and there's little kids in China that are still working their fingers to the bone to make your iPads (probably in the place they held the Beijing Olympics....jus sayin) (ed note: The author is clearly not thinking right and this comment in no way aligns with the thinking or moral values of the author. 'Cept it's probably true)    

When asked about plans for displaying his medal - he responded "Spinners for my whip"

After I got over the initial fury over spoiling the race in which Lochte beat Phelps, fellow blogger Holdin' Holden and I were curious (after she got furious with me for spoiling it also)....what the HELL is in the guy's mouth?

We found out it is a grill. For those that are versed in hip-hop lingo, "His grill be icy, yo." For those uninitiated, a "grill" is a dental piece, much like a mouthpiece, that is usually made of precious metal, and encrusted with precious stones. Basically, it's jewelry for your mouth. But not that sissy tongue ring shit, because GO BIG. Diamond teeth, y'all.

Apparently, Mr. Lochte is a big Lil' Wayne fan, (ed. note - full disclosure, I have Lil Wayne on my Spotify)  and to emulate his rapper of choice, he got an American flag grill. Look, I love me some Ice Cube circa 1988, but I'm not donning a jheri curl wig when accepting my medal.


Because nothing represents America like putting more money than the GDP of every minor country at the Olympics in your cakehole. I understand paying homage to your homeland, but Mr. Lochte, icing your chiclets is not the way to go. Need I mention that Lil' Wayne is the guy who had his jail time pre-empted because he had to remove the diamonds from his mouth?


Remember when being remembered in the medal ceremony MEANT something?


  1. Oh man I am totally dying over here!! Love your blogs.. and a great way to start my morning with a good laugh!!! Fo shizzle..

  2. I have to admit. I kinda liked the grill Mr. Sieckman.