Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Obliviously Obliviant to the Oblivion

When I was working, I managed a large branch office of a national equipment rental company. I had to multitask. I had to analyze data, file reports, observe employees, and a host of other things, all running concurrently.
As well as this job paid, I did it 24 hours a day. I was on call when I was needed. This meant that while my family was getting ready to go somewhere, I may have been on a business call, or looking up some piece of information on my computer.

And I always wondered why my wife was so pissed at me when I finally ended the call.

Now that the roles have changed, my wife is on the phone quite a bit with clients, peers, vendors, and other people. She uses the computer to extend her reach via social media, to order new product, and to research her field. Sometimes, SHE even has to do this while we are getting ready to go somewhere.

And now I know why my wife was so pissed at me when I finally ended my call.

Stay at home parents don't HAVE to be on the phone. Or the computer. There's been times where I have physically unplugged my box from the wall just because along with my children screaming, the dogs barking, the dinner burning, and the toilets overflowing, it just wasn't that important. We have to multi-task. It's a necessity, not an option.

Don't get me wrong, my wife is a great mother. A better mother than I am a father. But there have been times when she's been on the phone, and I have become a whirlwind of throwing things, dressing children incorrectly, and shouting enough curse words to make George Carlin blush.

After the dust settles, I'm left panting and drooling, and basically feral.

"Kids are ready"
All the while, my wife has been handling business. Which forces me to ask "WTF, why can't she help out?"
Until I think about WHY my wife always looked pissed at me when I was on the phone.....because she was on the other end. Duh.

So, for all my multi-tasking parents out there.....embrace your ADD! Let the battle cry be heard!

We will not back down! We will......DO NOT STICK THAT IN THE ELECTRICAL OUTLET! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? We will be heard! There will be a day...YOUR BROTHER IS NOT AN ART PROJECT. SHARPIES?!?!?! WHO GAVE YOU SHARPIES?!?! There will be a day where we will be able to relax for a full 8 hours, but until then......SQUIRREL.


  1. OOHH, how many times have I said "Sharpies?? Who gave you Sharpies????"

  2. I hateee when the spouse is on their smart phone. Rrrr