Thursday, July 12, 2012

The 3 things...about having opposite sex friends

I went to see The Amazing Spider-Man last night with my best friend, which happens to be a female. It AMAZES me to see people freak the fuck out over the fact that we can go out to places alone. It's like their minds can't wrap around the fact that people with opposite naughty bits don't just jam those naughty bits into each other if they're alone for any period of time. I know it's hard to believe, but some men can actually carry on conversations and go places with women without sex. You know.....the kind of men that have been friends with this said woman for longer than they've known YOU? Amazeballs.

"You mean you no hit her and drag her to cave?!?" - PS, if you know who this is, you are AWESOME.
1. Having a person to talk to of the same gender as your partner can help your relationship.

If I think my wife isn't getting what I'm putting down, or if I think she's just ignoring me, I'll talk to my bestie. She usually tells me "Well, she's mad at you because stop being a dick. I would kick your ass too. You're lucky I'm not there." I then tuck tail, and go apologize to my wife. Having someone else look objectively at your situation can help immensely. (See: Therapist......or does that not count to illogical people?) They can tell you when you're in the wrong, when you're in the right, or when there is no solution. Amazingly, it's somewhat comforting to hear "Wow, dude, you guys are both fucked." Guess what? I am at home all. day. long. I talk to other bloggers on Facebook on their pages, and some, even personally. Some of these bloggers are..........*GASP* women. Holy Outrageous Ovaries, SooperDad! Women, you say? Yes! And some of them are smarter than I!!!!!! I know. It's hard to fathom. Some w-w-w-w-women are intelligent.

2. You can do things with people of the opposite gender without having sex.

This.......this is fucking amazing. I.......really? I really don't feel that this has to be explained, but apparently, it more than does. See....when a man.....and a woman.....have lunch/go to a movie/have dinner/go shopping/have coffee/any other activity on the planet, it does NOT mean that they are entering into an agreement upon which they are agreeing to have coitus. I know. It's MINDBLOWING. Imagine. I had to work with MULTIPLE women for 10 HOURS a day WITHOUT MY WIFE AROUND, and I was able to keep my dick in my pants. It was a minor miracle. For 14 years. I should be in Guinness. absolutely horrible example on my part, but still an example.

3. Get over it.

I know for all those Mad Men fans (I haven't seen any episodes, I just have heard the gist of the series) that haven't poked their heads out, but times have changed. PEOPLE WITH SAME NAUGHTY BITS CAN BE MARRIED!!11!!!ZOMG!!1! Women are in charge of WHOLE COMPANIES?!?! FORTUNE 500 COMPANIES?!?!? What is this world coming to? I woman bash in jest, but in all honesty, I'm more impressed with women that think for themselves and handle themselves with respect and intelligence and, above all, have an awesome sense of humor than anything (my wife is one of these people).

So, yes, dear friends (on both sides), my bestie and I will be going out together again. Soon. Alone. With my wife's blessing. And my children's. Because they love her. I love her. She's the female version of me. And everyone knows I love me some me. As a final note, I have another 3 words for people that don't like it.

Go Fuck Yourselves.

Sincerely yours,
The Breakfast Club.


  1. Totally agreed! As a girl, growing up, all of my friends were guys. Guys that I did EVERYTHING with, guys that I would NEVER sleep with, because it was the farthest thing from what we thought about! I still consider one of those guys my best friends(even though we live a few states apart) and that was in 3rd GRADE! I'm 27, now!

  2. I didn't have a lot of women friends until I became an adult. I'll be honest, I was pretty much a huge jerk to women until about the age of 20. Then I grew up, and I just can talk to them more honestly, without all the "You think you're better than me" testosterone-fueled conversation.

  3. I love this, it is very sweet! er honest...

  4. ...says the guy who won't give his name. Stay classy.

  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  6. You should just be Kody Brown. --- Said by Megan.

  7. I'm afraid I don't know who Kody Brown is.


    Your spouse or significant other should be your best friend. The end. What sort of example are you setting for your children if you're turning to another woman for emotional support? That's fucked up. Good luck, asshole.

    1. My HUSBAND should be just that. MY HUSBAND. There are different people with different roles in life for a reason. He is not turning to another woman, he is hanging out with a friend. Did you read the post? There is nothing wrong with that in my opinion and in my marriage which is all that matters here.
      You dare not speak of our children, and that is as far as I will go on that.
      I wonder have you never done anything with the opposite sex without being able to have intercourse with them? Maybe that is YOUR issue. Maybe you should deal with YOUR significant other and any issues you may have with infidelity or secret sexual encounters you may be hiding?
      What sort of example are you setting hiding behind the name anonymous and judging a person? Or wishing false hopes of luck to another human being? Even by closing your statement to him with a derogatory name?

  9. OH my gosh--- Has Jennie not told you about Kody Brown?? aka her love interest? Google "Sister Wives".

  10. Dear Brent, I will not be your friend with out benefits. But your bestie is more than welcome to that position. XX

  11. Wow....I can google too!!
    Wrong, relationship experts have said. "The belief that men and women can't be friends comes from another era in which women were at home and men were in the workplace, and the only way they could get together was for romance," explained Linda Sapadin, a psychologist in Valley Stream, New York. "Now they work together and share sports interests and socialize together." This cultural shift has encouraged psychologists, sociologists and communications experts to put forth a new message: Though it may be tricky, men and women can successfully become close friends. What's more, there are good reasons for them to do so.

  12. I am the BFF in question. And since everyone would like to weigh in on this matter, I thought that I should, too.

    The indication here is that I'm a sex crazed lunatic, looking to steal someone's husband. Here's a hint, ladies: If your husband is looking to go, he WILL go. It won't take me, it won't take a nympho, it won't take a stripper. He'll leave... because you no longer fulfill that feeling in him that made him want to make you his wife in the first place. Your duty is to love him, build a partnership with him, share with him, and stick with him through good AND bad. How many women actually do that? Do you stick around when he wants to tell you the same, tired ass story he's told you for years? No. And so, a part of the relationship breaks down. You get too comfortable, emasculate him by saying you don't NEED him, pop on the sweat pants and say you have a headache. He loses trust in you, and THAT is how it happens. And then, in tears, you meet up with your girlfriends claiming you don't know WHY he left, and you verbally stone him for the rest of your life.

    I know this because I had it happen to me. And we all rallied around and decided he was an asshole. However, introspective thinking has led me to understand that I STOPPED fulfilling what he needed from me as his wife. He made the wrong choice by not just coming to me and asking how we could fix it. But, I made the wrong choice by disappointing him as his wife.

    So, please, don't assume that any woman that walks in your man's path is looking to steal him away. Because, I can tell you - WE'RE NOT. We don't want to deal with you as the ex-wife, we aren't looking to become instant mothers (well, most of us). And, we certainly don't want to involve ourselves with a man that's willing to walk out on his family. If you've lost your man, it's because you no longer wanted to have that partnership with him and he no longer wanted it with you. If you've lost your man, you never really had him.

    Spend time with your spouse and love them. BE the person you were when he married you and expect him to be the person you married. Your security in your relationship and your love for your spouse is what will hold you together. If that connection and bond is real, no one can tear it apart.

  13. I am MOST disappointed that these comments came as a result of people who clicked a link that either Brent or I shared. That purport to be our friends. I will tell you that anyone who is a real friend of mine better have the balls to put their name to what they state. Otherwise, you're really not my friend... are you? We can disagree, argue and may not always see eye to eye. But, if you have a problem, I want to hear it. If you disagree, I want to hear why. And I expect the same from you.

    I'm actually glad that this has been the subject of controversy today. And that's because the only way we can change our one-sided and prejudiced beliefs is by creating controversy. Controversy = change. Maybe your way of thinking is possibly one-sided. Maybe your way of thinking doesn't actually apply to every situation. And, in fact, maybe your calloused and cutting comments really hurt someone today.

    I am committed to being a good friend to every person I am friends with. I don't let them down. I don't lie. I don't backstab. I choose not to hurt my friends, because I care about them. And since Brent's wife is also my friend, I'd take a bullet for her. Because I know that losing her would break his heart for the rest of his life, along with the hearts of their sweet children. I would never do anything to come between an awesome bond like that. And, I know there's nothing I can do that could.

    I am secure with my friendship. I am CERTAIN that Brent is secure enough in his marriage that taking three hours to see a movie isn't going to be the demise. I KNOW that if he tried to stray, I'd remind him that he has a kick ass wife and NO ONE else is willing to do that job for him. Especially me. ;)

    I stand behind what I say and what I believe. Do you?

  14. Jelly much that this ^^ amazing woman is not your best friend? Quite honestly if I used the term "best friend" I would of slapped that label on her the minute we met. She had to approve of me, (not the other way around) since she has been Brent's bff way before I showed up.
    She is honorable, honest, kind, loving, love-able, sharing,so funny, giving, and has a wicked personality. Our children ADORE her and so you should.
    I sincerely regret not defending LDG in my first post.
    I love you, and your posts above were beautiful.

  15. I know I'm a little late to the party here, but I just discovered your blog and had to comment on this. GOOD GOD, how annoying is it that people think men and women can't just be friends? I'm a happily married woman who has predominantly male friends, and no one can shut up about it. I actually wrote about this recently on my own blog. Much as I love my husband, one person can't be EVERYTHING to ANYONE. Trying to pretend otherwise is a recipe for disaster, in my opinion. It's too much pressure on the relationship. My husband has a female coworker he unloads to about the crazy stuff I say and do, and I love her for her willingness to bluntly tell him when he's being an asshole (or when I am... usually the latter, honestly!). I've never even met her, but I condone their friendship. I WANT my husband to have female friends. When he's super frustrated with me, he bitches to them and they give him a woman's perspective on what's up. Likewise, my male friends tell me, "Well, this is why he reacted like that..." and they're usually right.