The 3 things...about having opposite sex friends

I went to see The Amazing Spider-Man last night with my best friend, which happens to be a female. It AMAZES me to see people freak the fuck out over the fact that we can go out to places alone. It's like their minds can't wrap around the fact that people with opposite naughty bits don't just jam those naughty bits into each other if they're alone for any period of time. I know it's hard to believe, but some men can actually carry on conversations and go places with women without sex. You know.....the kind of men that have been friends with this said woman for longer than they've known YOU? Amazeballs.

"You mean you no hit her and drag her to cave?!?" - PS, if you know who this is, you are AWESOME.

1. Having a person to talk to of the same gender as your partner can help your relationship.

If I think my wife isn't getting what I'm putting down, or if I think she's just ignoring me, I'll talk to my bestie. She usually tells me "Well, she's mad at you because stop being a dick. I would kick your ass too. You're lucky I'm not there." I then tuck tail, and go apologize to my wife. Having someone else look objectively at your situation can help immensely. (See: Therapist......or does that not count to illogical people?) They can tell you when you're in the wrong, when you're in the right, or when there is no solution. Amazingly, it's somewhat comforting to hear "Wow, dude, you guys are both fucked." Guess what? I am at home all. day. long. I talk to other bloggers on Facebook on their pages, and some, even personally. Some of these bloggers are..........*GASP* women. Holy Outrageous Ovaries, SooperDad! Women, you say? Yes! And some of them are smarter than I!!!!!! I know. It's hard to fathom. Some w-w-w-w-women are intelligent.

2. You can do things with people of the opposite gender without having sex.

This.......this is fucking amazing. I.......really? I really don't feel that this has to be explained, but apparently, it more than does. See....when a man.....and a woman.....have lunch/go to a movie/have dinner/go shopping/have coffee/any other activity on the planet, it does NOT mean that they are entering into an agreement upon which they are agreeing to have coitus. I know. It's MINDBLOWING. Imagine. I had to work with MULTIPLE women for 10 HOURS a day WITHOUT MY WIFE AROUND, and I was able to keep my dick in my pants. It was a minor miracle. For 14 years. I should be in Guinness. 

Fine...an absolutely horrible example on my part, but still an example.

3. Get over it.

I know for all those Mad Men fans (I haven't seen any episodes, I just have heard the gist of the series) that haven't poked their heads out, but times have changed. PEOPLE WITH SAME NAUGHTY BITS CAN BE MARRIED!!11!!!ZOMG!!1! Women are in charge of WHOLE COMPANIES?!?! FORTUNE 500 COMPANIES?!?!? What is this world coming to? I woman bash in jest, but in all honesty, I'm more impressed with women that think for themselves and handle themselves with respect and intelligence and, above all, have an awesome sense of humor than anything (my wife is one of these people).

So, yes, dear friends (on both sides), my bestie and I will be going out together again. Soon. Alone. With my wife's blessing. And my children's. Because they love her. I love her. She's the female version of me. And everyone knows I love me some me. As a final note, I have another 3 words for people that don't like it.

Go Fuck Yourselves.

Sincerely yours,
The Breakfast Club.