Reppin' the U S A Fo Shizzle

So...the Olympics started this week. To be honest, I haven't gotten into this Olympiad like I have in prior years. But the oldest boy wanted to check it out, so we turned it on Saturday morning. I watched Michael Phelps barely make the finals of the 400 meter individual medley.

Then, as NBC resumed it's broadcast of Olympic elven ping pong shotput (it might have been men's speed texting or submarine racing, I couldn't tell), we went about our day. My local news source later in the day committed a horrific act.

They posted this picture of Ryan Lochte posing with his gold medal 10 hours before airtime in Arizona. I know, I know, I'm crying, and if I wanted to watch it live, I could have found a way, and there's little kids in China that are still working their fingers to the bone to make your iPads (probably in the place they held the Beijing Olympics....jus sayin) (ed note: The author is clearly not thinking right and this comment in no way aligns with the thinking or moral values of the author. 'Cept it's probably true)    

When asked about plans for displaying his medal - he responded "Spinners for my whip"

After I got over the initial fury over spoiling the race in which Lochte beat Phelps, fellow blogger Holdin' Holden and I were curious (after she got furious with me for spoiling it also)....what the HELL is in the guy's mouth?

We found out it is a grill. For those that are versed in hip-hop lingo, "His grill be icy, yo." For those uninitiated, a "grill" is a dental piece, much like a mouthpiece, that is usually made of precious metal, and encrusted with precious stones. Basically, it's jewelry for your mouth. But not that sissy tongue ring shit, because GO BIG. Diamond teeth, y'all.

Apparently, Mr. Lochte is a big Lil' Wayne fan, (ed. note - full disclosure, I have Lil Wayne on my Spotify)  and to emulate his rapper of choice, he got an American flag grill. Look, I love me some Ice Cube circa 1988, but I'm not donning a jheri curl wig when accepting my medal.

Oh.....Shea.

Because nothing represents America like putting more money than the GDP of every minor country at the Olympics in your cakehole. I understand paying homage to your homeland, but Mr. Lochte, icing your chiclets is not the way to go. Need I mention that Lil' Wayne is the guy who had his jail time pre-empted because he had to remove the diamonds from his mouth?

*sigh*

Remember when being remembered in the medal ceremony MEANT something?

Keep Performing, Monkey!

I stumbled across this article today, about how the 2012 London Olympics organizers asked KEITH FREAKING MOON to perform at the closing ceremonies.

For those that don't know who Keith Moon was, let's do a quick recap:

• Original drummer for The Who
• One of the gold standards against which all drummers are compared
• The Muppet character "Animal" is loosely based on Moon.......really, that's how awesome Moon was.
• One of the gold standards against which all destructive rock star behavior is compared.
• Died after overdosing on horse tranquilizers he was taking to curb his alcohol withdrawal.

You'd drink too, if you were chained to your drums.

You read that right. To curb his withdrawal from alcohol, he thought it would be good to take 32 HORSE TRANQUILIZERS, because fuck aspirin, that's why.

Anyways, apparently the people that are organizing the Olympics, the worldwide event that happens every 4 years and is hotly contested for the honor of hosting, thought that Moon was alive and well. They wanted the recluse to join up with the rest of The Who for a gig at the closing ceremony. Finally, Moon's agent let them off the hook.

And I thought, what a bunch of dumbasses. Until I remembered something......

Tupac Shakur, dead for 16 years, performed at the Coachella music festival in 2012 via crazy accurate and awesome hologram.

So, will we see Moon at this years' Olympics? It's a possibility now. Then I thought about the implications of this technology.

It would re-open new genres of artists/actors/people to our youth that may have been lost over the years. Ask your kids if they know who the Beatles are. If not, maybe they can catch a reunion tour. Want to see Marilyn Monroe in a new film? Possible. (I know Forrest Gump did this with JFK, but now they can exist outside of CGI)

On the other hand.....this can be used by film/music companies to hold artists to their contractual obligations. Think about it...let's say for the sake of argument that tomorrow, Justin Bieber gets hit by his tour bus, dismembering him across several states.

JB was only halfway through his contract of releasing 4 albums for his label. 

His label sues his estate, uses his "likeness" in holographic form to then do a "One (Last) Time" tour, recouping much of the lost revenue from the unperformed portion of the contract....

Double edged sword my friends......