Dear Rovio (makers of Angry Birds),
I am hereby organizing a boycott of your most popular franchise because of the poor family values it promotes.
ABBACADABBA (Angry Birds Brothers-in-Arms Cartel Against Deadly Angry Birds Behavioral Attitudes) will organize against your digital nightmare. We will crush your empire of squawking pixels and regain our souls.
Why would ABBACADABBA do this? I say, why wouldn't we? Since your product came out, I personally have experienced the following family disruptions:
- My 2 year old son is now an Angry Birds addict. He throws massive fits if he can't get his hands on a Droid-powered phone. (addictions)
- My wife and I both have nearly used our devices as skipping stones after being unable to progress past a certain level. (domestic violence)
- My oldest son has no interest in your software whatsoever. (apathy)
- Persons who shall remain nameless *cough* have used YouTube videos to figure out how to progress past a certain level. (cheating)
- Tears have been shed after being unable to pass a certain level, and having those damn pigs laugh at me. (mental abuse)
So, as you can see, your product is terrible for classic family values. Although it teaches physics and trigonometry basics, the crater it leaves in family values cannot be filled with math.
I hope you take this letter seriously and cease from producing any more of your hate-filled software. Let the birds and pigs exist in peace.......for the sake of our families.
Sincerely,
Brent Sieckman,
ABBACADABBA founder and spokesperson. Putting value in family values.
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