#YODO

So, ladies, it's T minus 3 days until you get the baby-oil induced hot flashes thanks to Magic Mike.

However, not to be outdone by this sudden surge of interest in stripping, one man has stepped up to the plate.

Robert Gene White, a 67 year old man from Texas, enjoyed "several lap dances" from the ladies at a local gentlemen's club. When they came at the end of the night to collect on his tab, they found out he was DEAD.

It's like EVERY episode of C.S.I. Las Vegas. EVER.

And this, ladies, is why men are superior. We don't do the dine and dash, we get the grind and go (trademark pending). Because there's nothing better than leaving your earthly body behind covered in glitter and cheap perfume.....maybe some mouthwash from the men's room attendant.......not that I would know anything about that. *cough*

Anyways, Mr. White is my new hero. Not only did he go out doing something he absolutely LOVED, he did it for FREE! He's just as passionate about saving money as he was about seeing naked ladies. So, Mr. White, in honor of you, I've decided to change the #YOLO (You Only Live Once) that all the cool kids seem to be using as an excuse for everything to #YODO (You Only Die Once), in the hopes that when our time comes, our punched ticket will be as great as yours.

Big thanks to Inside the Mind of A Ghetto Genius for showing me this first.

Zombies won't eat reporters.....they have no brains.

With all the recent cannibalistic attacks around Miami, and spreading westward (no, I'm not linking to them because they're disgusting, just know that there are more than a handful, and drugs are involved in most), society has become quick to pull the trigger with using the term "zombie" when describing them.

Zombie culture is coming back into mainstream, and from experience, at my Comicon attendance, there were numerous people dressed as zombies walking around. There's even a local group of "family-friendly" zombies that you can invite to your functions. Our local comic shop has a Zombie Walk every now and then, which regularly closes streets downtown.

Here's the problem. My oldest kids and I just started watching The Walking Dead. It's TV-14, and I gave a little leeway, as parents are wont to do. My kids love scary things, and they don't get scared. They DID, however, have some questions about zombies. Of course, I told them there were no such things as zombies, and that it was all fake.

And then, the news comes along and shits on my parenting skills.

How do I combat this?

I give them the following word problem:

Zombies = people that are undead = died, then came back to life.

Dad = my heart stopped 4 times in the hospital = I died 4 times.

Dad = Zombie.

I win at parenting.