Thursday, October 25, 2012


No...not grinding as in shaping metal.

Not grinding as in the sexual dancing done in clubs.

In the video game world, grinding refers to leveling your character(s) up in order to raise their stats. They become more powerful, get better weapons, and battles that once were difficult become a little easier. One would usually grind their character before a main boss battle or something important that happens in the main storyline of the game.

Leeroy is not a good grinder.

So, why do I bring up this particular kind of grinding? 

I've been told by every single doctor I've seen that depression is common in heart attack survivors. For the past year or so, I've been slowly sliding down the slope, but now I'm in it all the way. I may seem okay on a computer screen, but most of the time, I'm feeling down, exhausted, and just miserable. Nobody's fault. I appreciate my wife and kids putting up with it for as long as they have without giving me a swift kick in the ass. 

Now it's time to give myself a swift kick in the ass.

I have started taking medication and going to therapy to try to help out with the depression. Another piece of the treatment that I can directly control is to convey my feelings (which in itself is difficult for me). So I am going to try to write more. More blog posts. More topics. More serious issues, with a little funny sprinkled in now and again. More fun, hopefully. 

This is my grinding.

Starting Monday, I begin grinding to try to increase my power. To try to raise my stats, get better weapons, and beat the villain. 

I hope you will stay for the ride. 


  1. Grind away my frand. (that sounded dirty....sorry.) I'll be here.

  2. If there is one thing I know you're good at it's that sounded even worse.

  3. I'll happily grind with you. Wait...what? Not like that! Man, oh man do I know something about grinding through depression. It's beyond tough. I'm prouder of you than I can say for this post, for seeking the treatment that's right for you, and for just being all around awesome. And I'm totes sticking around. :) ~Cornfed Farm Princess

  4. you are awesome. it takes a brave person to admit they need help and even braver to talk about it while going through it. I'm with yoU! you rule!

  5. Good luck to you my friend. Been there, but didn't have the brains or money to seek help so it lasted years. Mostly ate my way out of it and now have to lose weight and get in shape. Keep up the good work.

  6. Good for you. been there and trying to help my husband grind through it. nit in a dirty way either. I'm here for the ride with you.

  7. Now I know why they call you SooperJeenyus (Sp?). I'm proud of you and your decision. Depression is a difficult thing to recognize sometimes. Ok, maybe more like a difficult thing to admit to. I'm starting a 12 week grief support group next week. Finally realized that maybe I can't just muscle through it on my own, and it's ok to accept some help.
    I love you, and am glad you're seeking help to work through this. I'm here if you need me. Anything, anytime.