Thursday, January 5, 2012

The 3 Things...About Hands


My hands have been KILLING me lately, and it's hard to explain to people, so here are the 3 things about my hands

1. It's difficult to not look like a big wuss.

When my wife hands me a jar, I have to defer to my 10 year old daughter. When I shake someone's hand, I cry like a Belieber meeting their idol for the first time. Because, you know, it's cool to be "the guy that survived a heart attack but don't touch his hand or he'll cry."

"No, I'm really pleased to meet you......really." 

2. I never realized how much opposable thumbs are used in the real world.

My thumbs are actually the crux of my issues, and I'll be Chris Brown's new punching bag if I didn't realize how often the muscles of the thumbs are used. Opening a door? Check. Eating? Check. Blowing up "marital aids"? Double check. But that hurts so good.

3.  Nobody believes the only thing that doesn't make them hurt.

I'm a slacker stay at home dad, so when I tell people that the only thing that I do that doesn't make my hands hurt is play my Xbox, I generally recieve the same kind of look as if I told someone I had proof that Hoffa killed Kennedy on orders from Captain Kirk. It's true, however. I don't know if Microsoft had "ergonomic engineers" look at the controllers, but they work. Sucks for me, but I love me some Xbox even more now....

Somewhere, people refer to these as "hand pillows" 

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