Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Who is Soop?

So I got tagged in this chain post by My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream. I guess I can divulge some info about Soop, and why he's the awesomest cat ever. I usually don't do these things, because I hate talking about myself. I almost typed that last sentence without laughing.
1.  Where were you born?  A modest home in a middle class suburb of the planet Krypton.
2.  Were you named after someone? What most of you don't know is that my middle name was given to me in honor of how awesome I would become. Sooper ChuckNorrisBruceLeeBacon Dad.
3.  How many children do you have?  Four of them. Only because I can't count higher than that.
4.  How many pets do you have?  A feral wolf named Bacon. A spider monkey named Kevin. People think I have some severely twisted case of Tourette's when I call them. 
5.  Your worst injury? Other than my heart attack? That time when I got too close to red kryptonite.
6.  Do you have a special talent? Being awesome. It's kind of a full time job.
7.  Favorite thing to bake? HAHAHAHA BAKE. Baking is for soccer moms and various reality shows on Food Network. The only thing you need to COOK is bacon.
8.  Favorite Fast Food? Bacon.
9.   Would you bungee jump? I love bungee jumping. But I don't use bungee cords. I use twine.
10.  What is the first thing you notice about people?  Usually it's a toss up between if they realize that they are in the presence of awesomeness and breasts.
11.  When was the last time you cried?  When I put out a fire at an orphanage with my tears.
12.  Any current worries? I worry that this universe cannot hold all this awesomeness, and will soon be torn to shreds. I can't move to another universe again, it's hell boxing up my shit.
13.  Name 3 drinks you drink regularly.  Lava, Broken Glass Cocktails, and Toxic Waste.
14.  What’s your favorite book? My autobiography. Signed edition, 1st run.
15.  Would you like to be a pirate? Pirates are sissies.
16.  Favorite Smells? Bacon
17.  Why do you blog? If I don't share my awesomeness, the cyber world would devolve into using DOS and eventually go back to banging rocks together to communicate.
18. What song do you want played at your funeral? This song. With this guy.


19.  What is your least favorite thing about yourself? That I am but a vessel for awesomeness. A lowly vessel.
20.  Favorite hobby? Being awesome. Although overthrowing dictatorships is fun too.
21.  Name Something you’ve done, you never thought you would do?  Been named King of the World. Twice.
22.  What do you look for in a friend? Someone that can amplify my awesomeness by being just a little less awesome than me.
23.  Favorite fun things to do?  Hunting sparkly vampires.
24.  Pet peeves?  Stupidity. And anything that Ke$ha puts her STD laden touch on.
25.  What’s the last thing that made you laugh? Grumpy Cat.

I'm supposed to tag people to do this same post, but I don't believe in gracing people with that kind of awesomeness. It just leads to jealousy by peers and the misguided notion that the people chosen are just as awesome as me. If you want to do this, please do. If not, revel in this awesomeness. Read it twice . You can never have too much awesome.