Friday, September 30, 2011


At a store that will remain nameless, but a chain store, mostly found in malls, frequented by teenagers and parents looking to get their children's ears pierced, I found the following item......on thier "cheap shit" rack.

Having bowled competitively for 20+ years, I can tell you without a doubt there are no "true styles". Unless they are talking about the pins, in which case they tried to follow "making carefully" in the most generic sense. Let's use this phrase in other marketing campaigns!

  • Subway: Making carefully the simulating true styles of 5 dollar footlongs.
  • Mazda: Simulating true styles and making of ZOOOOOM.
  • Chevy: Simulating true American styles and making carefully the heartbeat.
  • Nike: Just making carefully the true do it styles.

P.S. - the store rhymes with "Flares".

Saturday, September 24, 2011

It's not who's the strongest or fastest, it's who does the most good...

Let me clarify this Extra Life donation drive I'm involved in. If you are my Facebook friend, you have seen my posts asking for money to play video games for 24 hours. I have a feeling some of you shook your head behind your screen and muttered something about "...ridiculous trying to raise money by playing games", or "he does that already, I'm not giving him MONEY for it", or "this is such a scam".
Look. It's not a scam. If you think it is, I have a different opportunity for you. I know this Nigerian prince that needs to wire his money over here. Just give him your bank account number and half of his fortune can be YOURS!!
First, let me explain why I am doing THIS event.
Perhaps you haven't heard about my heart attack. I would LOVE to do the marathon/walkathon/jump ropeathon/danceathon/bowlathon etc., but I would LOVE to not test the threshold of my INTERNAL CARDIAC DEFRIBULLATOR.


"Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery? Try licking an electricity transformer instead."
The simple fact is that this event is more my speed. While sedentary in nature, and not typically a fund-raising event, it is something that I can still do well enough to finish the event. 
The point I'm trying to make is that although the activity may seem sketchy to you, the reason for doing it is most definitely a personal matter to me, and many others who have had similar experiences.
Meet my niece, Anna:

About 3-1/2 years ago, Anna woke up one morning and couldn't tie her shoes anymore. When her parents asked her what was wrong, she couldn't form coherent sentences. They took her to a local hospital, then she was transported to Phoenix Children's Hospital. She had a subarachnoid hemorrhage.

See that white stuff inside her head? That's blood. That's not supposed to be there.
From the above link:
 Up to half of all cases of SAH are fatal and 10–15% of casualties die before reaching a hospital,[1]and those who survive often have neurological or cognitive impairment.[3]
Anna had to have emergency brain surgery. At 6 years old.

She made it through, and now is healthy and happy, thanks to the staff and surgeons at PCH.

Anna and her surgeon, Doctor Moss.
I hope this sheds some light on why I keep posting messages begging for donations for my event.
I want to help the people that helped my family. Anyone would do the same.
I know the economy sucks, and I know every penny counts in your personal budget, but anything helps.
I have recieved donations from:
  • a retired government worker on a fixed income
  • a mother of 3 that recently gave birth (do you know how much diapers cost?)
  • a single mother of 3
  • many people that probably couldn't "afford" it.
I understand the hardship of giving money away. But give PCH the first beer of your Friday night barhop, the first latte of your work week, or simply the change from filling up your car.
Please donate anything you can. I appreciate your support and time for reading this.
Donate HERE!

Friday, September 23, 2011


To be honest, I wasn't going to do a WTFriday post this week. Feeling crappy and all.....but then my 4 year old reminded me why I do these posts. 

She has lately become obsessed with singing Selena Gomez's song "Tell Me Something I Don't Know", and will run up to me, sing the chorus, then stand there until I actually tell her something she doesn't know.

I was surprised the first time, so I think I made something up, but most of my "facts" are embellished. For instance, this exchange took place in the car 2 days ago.

Ally: "Tell me, tell me something I don't know. Dad."

Me: "The koala bear is the only indigenious bear to the Australian region, and can be quite deadly if provoked."

Ally: "That's a good one."

So, randomly she has been coming up singing the chorus, and demanding something she doesn't know. The pressure is too much!! If you have any random facts that I can use on her, PLEASE post them for me. Otherwise, I will have to ship her off to the only despository of trivial information that I know father. 

Check out the full video. I'm becoming a fan of Selena Gomez. And I'm secure in my manhood.....go figure. Happy Friday!


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Blech.....Happy Hump Day.

Well, today is the day the house illness finally hit me. I was the last holdout, but my immune system decided that the defense sector is crumbling, and the economy is too weak to support inanimate objects of thier talent caliber.

Things I have to do while sick:

  • Wake up early and take the kids to school
  • Make breakfast
  • Play pretend cafe
  • Change dirty diapers
  • Be subjected to ear-splitting screams 
  • Pick up after my children
  • Try not to breathe on anything/anyone

Things I want to do while sick:

  • Sleep


So as you can see, I am quickly learning that being a stay at home parent SUCKS when you are sick. I am lucky in the fact that I have sister-in-laws close, and they would help if I needed it, but then, whatever would I blog about? If I can't post my misery in a public forum to gain sympathy and attention, then what good is the internet for?

On a side note, about REAL sick people...I am raising money for Children's Miracle Network Hospitals, more specifically Phoenix Children's Hospital, where my niece Anna received a life-saving brain surgery. I am participating in an event called Extra Life, and I'm trying to raise as much money as I can to help out a worthy cause. I know the economy sucks, and money is tight, but any amount you can donate is helpful and appreciated! 

Click here to donate!

Friday, September 16, 2011


My oldest daughter had an assignment in her school, to just jot down some random facts about herself, you know, "whatever (she) thought of first". Here is what she brought home.

I guess I should have thought out "Family Dexter Night" a little more....


Thursday, September 15, 2011

DIFO...VI,EII Results

Wow! A lot of you got this right, and REALLY quickly. 

The girl in the picture grew up to be an actress on Disney's Wizards of Waverly Place, and made her theatrical debut in the film adaptation of Ramona and Beezus. She (and her band) have 2 gold albums certified by the RIAA, as well as 2 RIAA-certified Platinum singles. At 17, she became the youngest ever ambassador for UNICEF, and is also involved in charities that help animals in Puerto Rico, and raise awareness of abuse towards women in the Congo. She recently started her own production company, launched her own clothing line, and is coming out with her own perfume line also. Oh, by the way, she is also hated by many tweens worldwide (and my 4-year old daughter) for the sole fact that she is/was dating The Beeb.

Selena Marie Gomez (born July 22, 1992)

P.S. - That's right.....she's only 19. Overachiever.

Congraulations to Tonya S. for getting the first correct answer in, 7 minutes after the original post!


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Damn, I Feel Old...Volume I, Episode II

Okay SooperFriends, here we go again with another kick in the stomach.....I'll give a hint this time. The actress is from the same show as the last one...Barney & Friends. 

Click here to e-mail your answers

Good Luck! And sorry, Leah T., you're not eligible for this week's SooperAusum award, since you won the last one.


Friday, September 9, 2011


Whilst in the midst of doing my chores for the week (no mice or birds came and sewed me a tux. No bell peppers turned into a Ferrari for me. *sigh*), my youngest boy decided to play pretend with the laundry basket.

For those of you that know me, what I am going to say next may shock you. Time to face my demons.

There is a certain picture that has been well hidden (but threatened to have put on shirts in order to celebrate my high school and college graduation), and for good reason.

When I was younger, I loved Magnum P.I.. I used to pretend that I had a bitchin' 'stache and drove a Ferrari.

So, here it is......2 generations of awesomeness.


Sunday, September 4, 2011

Damn, I Feel Old...Volume I, Episode I

Played this on my facebook daughter actually told me of this connection.

Who is this little girl, and what show is the picture from?



Leah T. came up with the right answer, but it seemed to stump quite a few...


For those that are still stumped, here's a picture of the young lady now:


Demetria Devonne "DemiLovato (born August 20, 1992)

That's right...the little girl grew up to become a Disney Channel star, singer, songwriter, a Joe Jonas "kill", and rehab visitor (bulemia, self-injury). Just think, moms and dads....this ALL happened within 10 years. She starred in Barney & Friends in 2002-2003, where the original picture is from.

Just another reason to lock our daughters up. Joe Jonas is still out there..........somewhere.

Friday, September 2, 2011


I've been trying to control my temper since my heart attack, so that I don't stress myself to the point of having another hospital stay. As any parent can tell you, though, having children is stressful enough.

In order to become the awesomest passive-agressive father I can be, my wife has asked me to refrain from yelling to convey my displeasure. (Apparently, blogging to the entire internet is fair game, though!)

I had told my oldest daughter to return this school book a total of 5 times before yesterday. I found it stuffed in the back of a closet, where she stores her backpack.

After doing my lamaze breaths, yoga poses, and finally stopping my eye from twitching, I decided to verbalize my displeasure at her actions. A very public display of displeasure should deter future decisions to not heed my instructions.....right?